Saturday, October 1, 2011

Tale of Two Cities

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  That is no joke! I'm, Deanne, finally back with my anchor and rock.  How great it is to be here with Doug and Hyrum or as we call him right now Ming Gang.

I don't even know where to start. I think I will just give a quick overview of my experience since we left Salt Lake.  I have become very good at waiting in strange airports.  I should add up all the hours I sat in airports in the last week.  I guarantee it was more than a full days time. Changsha is very different than Guangzhou.  I had been told that Changsha is westernized but I beg to disagree.  It is on the verge of thinking about being westernized.  The closest thing to western is the hotel I was in.  This hotel was comparable to a mid grade hotel in the states.  It did have marble all over but so does everywhere I've been including the very filthy Civil Affairs Office and the railings in Guangzhou.  It was just a normal hotel room. My guide was very busy with other things so I didn't get to do very much and what we did do was because our agency rep called to see how things were going and discovered my predicament and called the guide to have her take me somewhere. That somewhere was a park for an hour.

Now to Bria.  That was hard, to say the least. We met her at the government office on Monday.  That place was disgusting.  Walking in smells very strong of urine and there was not a spot in the whole building that was clean.  I don't think they can afford a janitor. They brought Bria in and she just stared.  Now this is where I could say, like most adoptive parents, that I fell madly in love with her and she was so adorable, but I want to be honest here.  Bria had a hard look on her face, the same one in all her pictures.  I walked up to talk with her and she wanted nothing to do with me.  I tried to ease her into things but eventually they handed her to me and she screamed.  I don't mean cried hard I mean screamed!!  After about 45 minutes of that our guide suggested we go back to the hotel to finish up the paperwork for the next day.  When we walked outside she finally calmed down. She found herself a chair and claimed it as her own.  For the first two days she would not get out of the chair except to go to the bathroom or when we left the room. In those two days we only left the room twice, once to try and get dinner but as soon as she saw a Chinese person she reached for him and started into a screaming fit again, this was on the second day.  The other was for breakfast and I went down early enough that we were basically the only ones there.  She did start to open up a little and play with me and she did giggle and laugh at times.  Over the next few days things got a little better and she started to test me.  I had to draw the line at one point and the daggers came out.  This little girl knows how to give dirty looks!  She rejected me over and over again.  I spent most of the time with her trying to manipulate me to get her way or being mad at me.  She really did not like me.  On the plane I really wondered what I was doing bringing a little girl home that hated me.  She was mad again because I couldn't let her take her seat belt off.  She sat there and would either give me the evil eye or completely ignore me while hitting my hand or any body part that got too close to her.  I was not doing very well and pleaded with Heavenly Father to change her heart and mine. I was prepared for this reaction but didn't expect it.  It was so hard to go through with no support and cooped up in a hotel where no one speaks your language and you are not comfortable wandering around the city as a single woman with a Chinese little girl.  It was very very hard!!!!!
When I got to Guangzhou I was asked what I thought of Changsha and the best way I could think of the describe it was, disgustingly dirty and chaos.  Guangzhou and Doug picking up Hyrum compared with my experience was truly  a Tale of Two Cities.

Things have gotten much better since being with Doug and Hyrum.  Bria has made some great strides and looks to me as her primary care giver.  I have not had one problem with her today and no dirty looks.  I think being together as a family is doing something wonderful for her and Hyrum's sweet happy personality it bringing out the best in Bria.  Hyrum has also really opened up and they are playing, laughing and screaming in happy tones together.  They have been running after each other laughing from the bottom of their toes.  It has been so good to be here and see the positive changes take place in all of us. Both children are doing well with the opposite parent and we can interchange caregiver already and it has been less than a day.  I have seen miracles today and I am so grateful for the support of my Father in Heaven.  He has been there the whole way through.


  1. It is great being able to read how things are going. Thanks for keeping us all updated.

  2. She is beautiful! I can't wait to get more details. I am so glad you are leeting us all peek into your experience.

    We love you!

  3. Sorry she is giving you such a hard time, but it sounds like you are handling it well- she is lucky to have gotten an experienced mother like you! I've enjoyed reading your and Doug's posts- it helps me to know what we will be going through when we travel. Hyrum sounds like a doll- Im looking forward to your posts when you get back home and things will be more normal for all of you.
    God Bless you on your travels! Michelle