Monday, July 16, 2012

Some New Insight

I have had some new insight in the last few days about children. Life can get tough with kids and I have put a large portion of the responsibility of raising my children on my own shoulders. In my mind it has all been up to me if they succeed or not. Sadly that train of thought has hindered my ability to have all the Joy in the journey. I have admired those that can just be happy no matter the circumstances and wanted that gift for myself. I am now finding ways to feel that joy more fully.

One new insight is that our Father in Heaven is really raising our children, we are just His hands. That new knowledge has relieved a burden. My children's success is not up to me. I can lead and guide but ultimately our Father is the true parent and our children have the ability to choose what they do in life.

I have also been told that our pain in our children's poor choices is evidence of our love for them. The more I think about that the more I see it is true. Now comes the moments that I wish I didn't love them so much. :))

It's Been Far Too Long

Believe me, I have thought about blogging for quite a while. It makes it hard that my home computer won't let me post so I have to use Doug's laptop.  That means I don't have use of a computer until after the kids go to bed.  I would love to say that I am just too tired to blog by then, because I usually am, but at this point in life there is so much going on that I don't even have time at 1:00 in the morning. :) We are most likely still trying to get things done.

The responsibilities of the parents of this household have blossomed into something I could never have imagined.  It's a good thing that God wouldn't let me see a glimmer of life today, I think I would have run as fast as possible.

So to catch up, Tyler, our oldest son is engaged to be married to a great girl. We have a wedding on August 15, reception in Kentucky August 18, and a reception at our home on August 24. For this reception in our back yard we are finally getting rid of two very problem areas in the yard. In one we are building, ourselves, a pergola, or as we call it a grape arbor. It is not a little project. We are also on the hunt for a fast cheap way to build a gazebo that needs to be done by August 15th. Next, our son Britton is coming home from his mission in Brazil on August 1st. We are so excited but there is work and expense that goes with that too. We just returned home from a family reunion in California for 10 days. We had a good time and no longer feel guilty that it has been 6 years since our children have been to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Getting the family ready for a trip like that is quite a feat but we made it and I only got cranky a few times and it wasn't even that bad. Good for me, I am making progress. We also have other major changes coming possibly this week but it is too premature to let everyone know just yet. I promise I will tell as soon as possible.

For all those that have been waiting for me to blog or email, Abe, I am so sorry that I haven't done better. I figure I can only do so much and unfortunately blogging is not a necessity. Even with all the things going on I will do better at keeping people updated. Just know that I am thinking of you Abe and Michelle.

I have had my moments of overwhelm but then just as I feel like I am about to break the Spirit puts a thought, song or scripture in my path and it reminds me that I can do all things in the strength of the Lord.  It truly is only through His strength and power that we can accomplish all that is asked of us.  We have had to do some soul searching once again and decide if we were willing to heed the call. Some days it feels like we are being asked to give so much more than we are capable of but the Lord has never let us down. Because of this we continue to say "Here I am, send me." We have a Father in Heaven and a loving brother Jesus Christ that is there at all times. He is there even in our times of weakness, when we feel like giving up or that He has left us alone. We are never alone and I can testify of that. Too many times, even today, I felt his love and his words in my heart. He was giving me strength and a reminder of why we live the life we live. Why we follow Him like we do and don't lead the easy life. It is all because of my Savior and the sacrifice he made for me. I can never repay him but I can serve him and our Father's children.