Wow, I had no idea how easy I had it before these new children came home. I had a 5 year old as my youngest and didn't realize that I had some freedom. I could choose to clean the house or do laundry. I could make my bed in the morning. I could even shower before 1:00pm. I have been thrown back into the land of the young mother. This brings back so many memories and a new understanding of what I have been through in the past.
I remember the days that dragged into months of holding a child and another one needing me so I picked them up with one hand and held two children at once. The times of sitting in the rocking chair with two children on my lap and the neighbor showing up. Of course my house was a disaster just like now. The times when there were toys strewn all over the house and dishes on the table from breakfast long after lunch was served. The days of dirty faces and sticky hands all over the place. Mirrors slimmed with soap from children playing on the counter while I try to make myself look presentable. The list goes on and on.
I applaud all the mothers out there in this stage of life. It is not easy. The hardest part is letting everything else go for the sake of the children's long term needs. It creates chaos in my life and soul. I then get impatient and work as hard as I can to control that. That is the true work, controlling my expectations and emotions. Not cleaning and cooking. That comes easy.
We are still adjusting the sleep patterns of the children. I have not figured out how to give them the needed naps and still get them to bed at a decent time. The other day they both fell asleep about the time that I needed to pick up Creed from school. I was gone no longer than 10 minutes. I walked in the door and Hyrum was sobbing in Hannah's arms. I ran to him and cuddled him. In a few minutes he calmed down and sat with me. For the next couple of days he would not go anywhere that he couldn't see me and most of the time since then I have had to hold him. It is good but sad. I know that he sees me as his mother and protector but sad that he has not had this all along and is just learning he is loved.
Whenever Doug and I take Hyrum and Bria out for some bonding time and date night Hyrum gets very pouty and sad. The first time we left he about jumped out of his skin to get back to the house. Friday when we got home from taking Tyler to dinner he couldn't get out of the car seat fast enough. He was giddy with excitement! He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house. We then had to check every bed to make sure all the children were still here. This child loves his family and always wants us to stay together no matter where we go. I have heard many times "I'm so glad we got him."
Bria is still struggling. I think it will be a hard road for her. I'm sure within a year, hopefully sooner, I can post that Bria is herself and doing wonderfully. She is laughing and playing but there is a deep sadness inside of her. She could really use every ones prayers. I know they are heard and answered!