Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Flu Again!

I have known of many people that get sick when they travel to pick up kids so I brought an arsenal of meds just in case. I didn't need any of them but as soon as we got home Bria started in with the flue. At first I wasn't sure that's what it was. She was cranky and sullen, wouldn't eat and started to have diarrhea. All signs of transition. One night she started to act like she was going to throw up. Soon after the fever came. We didn't get much sleep and she felt miserable. After 4 days of off and on symptoms she pulled out of it. Then I came down with it. Unlike children though moms can't just stop and lie around and cry when they want something. It would be nice though. Many others in the family have sore throats and are getting head colds. This too came from Bria. She has had a runny nose since we first got her. I thought it ran its course in China but we still are wiping her nose once or twice a day.

Bria is showing signs of some progress and will willingly come to mom but most of the time prefers Creed or Dad. I made Doug change sides of the bed so in the middle of the night he can take care of her without me suffering the rejection. Rejection isn't easy but when you are woken up in the middle of the night not having slept much in the past week then thoroughly rejected, it requires a lot of patience. Right now I would rather avoid the situation than have to be the better person. She has moments of being happy and smiley as well as crying. I anticipate the crying will begin to diminish and the smiles will be more prevalent.

Hyrum is doing very well but I do see him adjusting still. He is usually running around the house getting into things. He laughs a lot and loves to be tickled. He runs away as soon as we take his diaper off and wants us to chase him. He eats most everything around. But in the mornings when he wakes he is stunned and sad. I think he is still surprised when he sees he is not in familiar surroundings. I pick him up and lay with him as he cries. One of the children will walk in and that will distract him. If Hannah comes in he immediately smiles and wants to go to her. He has nightmares most nights but they are getting less intense. I can hold and rock him and he goes right back to sleep.

Something that we have seen with both children is the lack of ability to deal with disappointment. I never would have thought of this as being a challenge for them. If they don't get their way they go into a fit. Bria will cry and cry and it sounds like she is pushing it out. Hyrum will run to the other room, throw himself on the floor and fake cry. Once in a while he will have real tears. When these things happen I take them in my arms and try to show them how to be sad without throwing a tantrum. Hyrum responds very well. I think Bria was able to get her way previously through crying because she is good at it. She cries almost all day with small breaks. I have never seen more tears. I think having so much stimulation and options is very new to them.

I have had a couple of people tell me they are worried that the kids might feel like they are just in another orphanage with all the children we have. I let that thought bother me for a few minutes but the more I reason it through I realize they have love and stimulation and are learning to create bonds. This family will be intact forever and the people at the orphanage will only be temporary. This family offers them education and a knowledge of who they are and why they are on earth. They will learn about their Savior Jesus Christ and be taught how to serve and love others. Bria and Hyrum now have the opportunity to learn how to be a mother and father and function as successful people. Yes we have a large family but these children are never without love and people who fight over who gets to hold them. (Wow, that was good therapy for me. I am going to have to come back and read this from time to time when I ask myself "what do I think I am doing".)

We will post some pictures tomorrow. Sorry there haven't been any. Life gets crazy when you get home and try to add the new children and find a new normal.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear about the flu hitting you guys- that's never fun. So glad to know you guys are back and that the kids are blending into your family. We finally got our cable today, so at least we are making progress!

    Hang in there and try to get plenty of rest. We'll talk soon~