Thursday, May 30, 2013

Reality For Some?

 I have several posts in my head but somehow my computer has freaked out and I can't post pictures on the blog. It's time to take it in but I need Doug to do that and he has been pretty busy. Hopefully it will happen this week. I really need my computer over the next couple of months.


Anyway, back to what I was getting at. I found a post on this blog that shocked me. I knew the orphanages struggled but not like this. I thought I would share what one of the oldest adopted children of the family said to his mother. If you want to read the whole post here is the link.



Monday April 8,2013


 He made me cry

I cried. I couldn't help it. 

Now understand, I am not a crier. I don't cry often. But I felt my heart just break. 

BROKEN.  I felt broken. And I understood for a few moments how God MUST feel, although I have no doubt that He shielded me from the full force of the pain. Because I'm sure I could not have taken on the BURDEN our Father has.

Where did this happen? Who did this? What was IT?

We were in the van, Chance, Kat, Phoebe and me. Going to get Uncle Roy and family at the airport, coming in from their vacation back to Japan ( yes, I'm jealous as all get out) but we were chatting, Chance and I as the two in the front, as I drove. The girls in the back were busy playing games.

We passed a church, and Chance asked "Why do we bury people next to the church?"  He finds that sooo odd.  And I said "Out of respect", and as usual, I love my Chance and love to jag on him some, so I said "Should we not bury you next to the church, how about in a hole in the yard." He said "Yep, just not too close (to the house) or he would stink."  Oh, my outdoor lovin' son, how he makes me laugh. (Yes, MOM we have a sick sense of humor, I know)

Anyway-- I don't know the exact words that led to him saying "I've seen dead people." And as a nurse, this doesn't faze me, nor as their mother have I learned to be shocked at what they tell me at times they have seen.  My children come from many years of orphanage care. It's not pretty. It's not cute painted pictures on the walls, big eyed babies waiting to be scooped up and loved on. I've heard horror stories before. (SADLY)

 My precious son proceeds to tell me very matter of fact, that he saw MANY children DIE. MANY-CHILDREN-DIE.  Some from not enough food, some from diseases. Not just babies with major problems that came in, but children he lived with for years, he knew them well.

So many children, in fact, they had to make a "fridge" at the orphanage to hold the bodies. And that a truck would come and THEY (as in MY CHILDREN, MY SONS) would be made to help load DEAD children in the truck to be taken away to be "burned up." Some 5-6 years old, some older, some babies.

I listened in silence. Feeling my heart breaking. Trying to concentrate on driving. As the tears welled. As they started a path down my face. As I started to sniffle.

He realized I was crying. He apologized for making me cry. "Sorry mom, I make you cry." And I couldn't say a thing-- so on he went -- "It just happened. Some were diseased, some not enough food, but some (KIDS)  did get adopted."  Obviously before they got to dying--

But then something hit my heart besides the horrible pain-- it was ANGER. And I said 3 words--


That's right- NOT ENOUGH got adopted. Because children/ babies/teens are DYING today. Because they have disease, yeah, maybe, but also because they don't have FOOD to eat.

They feed the kids by age (because they have to)--
 youngest must have food to make it- feed first
 toddlers, need food- they come next
 preschoolers, need to be fed- feed next
 school age- well, they can survive if they miss one meal
 but the teens, well, they can go with 1 meal a day, or NONE if there's none left when they get to them. 

So they GO WITHOUT, often for DAYS.

When's the last time you or I went without 1 meal and said the meaningless words "WOW, I'm starved" when we did get to eat our very next meal? I'm so ashamed, I have  thoughtlessly said that.

My children, along with MANY others, last count 285 children (when our kids came from their orphanage there were 150 children) know that "being starved" is not missing one meal. Hunger HURTS. When it's been 3 days and all you got was a piece of bread, your belly HURTS, it aches in a way you can hardly stand.

I'm sharing this because of what I said to Chance when I finally could say more-- still in the van, still driving, just sniffling now----

"Chance people SHOULD care. I care. No child should mean nothing more than a body- that they didn't get a chance to grow up, to be loved. God loved those children and He wants better for His children, someone has to care about those children----WE HAVE TO CARE."

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