Tuesday, April 1, 2014

One Year Anniversary With Gideon

A year ago today we saw our Gideon for the first time. We had worked for 5 tireless months to get through the paperwork as fast as we could. We knew that any day Gideon could be called home. We hoped and prayed that he would make it to us. First we wanted him sealed to our family and second we had a glimmer of hope that the doctors may be able to do something to save his life.

Our Father in Heaven was in charge and we were reminded that it was through His hand that Gideon's life was preserved. We had a blessed 10 months with Gideon on this earth. Looking back I can see why we felt the need to do more playing and making memories than we had as a family in the last 15 or so years. We took a lot of pictures and had Gideon with me all the time but on our date nights. Even then, he came with us sometimes. In the last week before we went into the hospital we brought Gideon with us to a play tryout. That is just not done. I couldn't leave him. He wasn't doing well and my heart could not let go. I didn't even know how close to the end we could be but my Spirit did.

I just wanted to recognize this day and post a couple of pictures. When I was reminded that today was the day we got our Gideon I teared up but I am doing well. I love my son and am so grateful for the blessing he is to us. Gideon is very loved by the whole family and is talked of often.

The medical director for the orphanage handed Gideon over to us. Unfortunately we didn't get the opportunity to meet the foster parents. Gideon had the blessing of foster parents for about 10 months. He would not have survived in the orphanage.

Gideon was terrified of me, his mother. He allowed Doug to hold him and console him but was afraid for me to even look at him. We got back to the hotel and I tried all the tricks in my bag to soften him up. The balloons finally worked but he still took a few days to allow me to hold him and then it was forced. That didn't last a very long time. Within a moth of being home mom was his favorite.

Our first smile! A tear streaked face filled with sorrow and fear yet he couldn't hold back his smile.
I now know what that mix of emotions feels like. Gideon didn't allow us to take his clothes, coat, hat or shoes off. for several weeks he needed his coat, hat and shoes for comfort. We will never forget those precious items to Gideon.

This is the day that Gideon became an official Walker. He doesn't look too happy about it but I know now that he is grateful for his family.

We took Gideon back to the Anhui Healing Home. He was cared for there for a while. Love Without Boundaries operates this home and staff it with some very fantastic nannies. Gideon was loved and his medical needs were addressed. Gideon was a bit shy. I'm sure he didn't know if he was staying with us or at the Healing Home. It broke my heart to see the mixed thoughts and feelings but I also got a glimpse into his soul that day. Gideon was a gentle tender boy though some could not see that through his two year old antics. He LOVED babies and wanted to touch and take care of them. I wish we could have given him the gift of a little brother or sister before he died. At least he had his nephew Grant to love. He asked about Grant almost every day.

This is Gideon in just a couple of days from our first meeting.
Gideon loved his daddy so much!! In China Dad was the go to guy when Jason wasn't around. I worried that Gideon may never like me. How silly is that?!? Very normal though. After being home a month or two Gideon started calling Doug Bobby. It took me a few minutes to figure out why. Mommy is mama in Chinese and daddy is baba. So of course, to a two year old the transition from mama to mommy must mean the baba turns into bobby. I really don't want that to die with Gideon. It was so cute.

This picture is now our background on the computer. At first it was hard to see but this picture has turned into a source of peace. Many times I will hear in my head words like,
 "It's OK mom, I'm happy and I love you."

1 comment:

  1. Maybe to keep the term "bobby" alive, you should have all the grandkids call grandpa "bobby" in memory of Gideon