Monday, May 5, 2014

Mourn With Those That Mourn

Today some of the family had the opportunity to go to the funeral of a good friends Uncle. This Uncle was much like a father and grandfather to our friends. We were so sad to hear that someone they loved dearly was struggling with life. This family has been there for us in ways that have touched us deeply. Through our struggles with Gideon's death they have supported us emotionally, physically and in anyway they can think of. We have grown to love them deeply. Having the opportunity to support these friends was a blessing to us.

We checked Casey and Hannah out of school. Hannah has babysat for some of the grand kids and Casey's best friend Garrett is how we met this family. Garrett is the youngest son of our friends. Garrett and Casey met in Kindergarten and have stayed close. Casey and Hannah desperately wanted to go and show their love and support. We heard of the illness of the uncle last week so on Thursday we decided it would be a good day to bring cookies over so our friends knew we were thinking of them. Hannah spent her afternoon making some very good cookies, with the help of my sister-in-law, Janet, we ran out of sugar. :) (They get the next batch of cookies). As soon as we said hello to our friends they told us that the uncle passed away that morning. This can only be called God Timing. Lives were blessed on both sides that day as Hannah listened to the Spirit prompt her to set aside other plans to serve another.

I don't know why, but it didn't cross my mind that attending a funeral in the same funeral home that Gideon's body had been prepared in may be difficult. Funerals are never easy but our grief is still present just under the surface and the last week has been especially difficult for much of the family. One of the songs sung was "For Good" from Wicked. That song has been going through my head for a couple of weeks whenever I think of Gideon. As the daughter of our friends sang this song the tears streamed down my face. Doug didn't get through without tears either. I could identify with everything this family was feeling.

There was a statement made that touched a part of me that once again needed reminding that all was OK. "We know we have loved deeply when we have lost deeply." I truly love my little Gideon and every day wish I could hold him and kiss his cheeks again. It was nice to hear of the life of another but today, for me, this was about my Gideon. Our perfect pure son. To steal a line from this uncles obituary, "Nothing is harder than the loss of someone we love, Perhaps their greater purpose is to love us from above." Gideon has a greater purpose and we are grateful to be a small part of it until we are reunited.

I understand a little better what it takes to be a better friend and how to mourn with those that mourn through the example of our friends. I saw this quote today and wanted to share it.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
—Henri J.M. Nouwen


  1. Thanks dear friend for the lovely heartfelt post; I needed it today. I loved the quotes from the funeral and the last one was just so perfect for my feelings this day. That Hannah of your's is such a gem. Your family is doing a special job of providing comfort; it's just awesome.
    Blessings and hugs for you all!