It's A Wonderful Life

I knew this was coming. The absence of Gideon has hit hard. Monday Malia (7) called, crying,  20 minutes after school started asking me to pick her up. I had no hesitation picking her up because she had sobbed herself to sleep the night before and woke up crying. At 2:00pm Clayson (9) called. Back to the school I went. Just being home gives them a sense of safety and comfort. They both wrote in their journals and glued pictures of Gideon in their books. It was very therapeutic. Today Casey came to me asking if he could stay home. I asked why, knowing full well but wanting him to express it. He broke down and cried and just said "Gideon". He went down stairs and fell asleep on the couch. 2 hours later he was on his way to school. The sorrow can be so consuming and you just don't know when or why it will hit. I wanted to help Sereen after giving birth to Sierra a week ago. I have felt neglectful of both Sereen and Sierra. I want them to know I think of them and love them

It has been a hard yet beautiful weekend. Many people took their time to come and support us and celebrate Gideon's life. So many emotions and so much to be thankful for. The Spirit was strong and the presence of many angels were felt. Gideon was near and gave me great strength to make it through the rough patches. I woke up Friday dreading the next two days. I didn't want to go through it nor face the inevitable. I finally pulled myself out of bed while my sister took care of my kids and cleaned my WHOLE house. Doreen, my sister, was here for a week and took care of our every need. Needless to say, I was very anxious about all my family leaving. We are now alone and it's scary. No more cousins to distract the kids. Everyone needs to get on with life, including us. (Sorry about the side track.) Friday was the day to dress Gideon. I was so afraid to do it. Dave, my brother-in-law who has a funeral home in Washington, talked me through it a bit and reminded me that Ma

          As most people know by now, our precious Gideon passed away Thursday February 13, 2014. On to a new phase of his life. Our Father needed him somewhere else but blessed us to reconnect over the last 10 months. To create memories and have him sealed to our family for all eternity. We are profoundly grateful for these gifts. Gideon's recovery from surgery went very well for about 18 hours. Slowly his body showed signs of challenge. At first nothing real concerning but over a short period of time the nurse, doctors and I (Deanne) could see that things were not ok. The doctor ordered an Echo. I was on the phone with Doug letting him know he needed to get to the hospital so we could confer with the doctor when they started the Echo. It was clear to me and the doctor that Gideon's valve was not working at all. We gave each other a knowing look and I told Doug what was going on. Doug left right away to get to us and the doctor and I talked. We knew it w

We saw Gideon about 6:00 PM and he looked just as sedated as he probably did in surgery.  His numbers we all good.  They were just letting him wake up naturally and it was taking a while.  They left the breathing tube in to make sure he could breathe on his own before they took it out.  I left the hospital about 8:00 PM and Deanne stayed.  He was still not awake before I left.  I just called her about 10:45 tonight and she said he woke up enough to remove the breathing tube.  So he is totally on his own - no life support of any kind.  He still has a bazillion tubes and wires connected to him, but his heart and lungs are working on their own.  He was even awake enough to call for me.  (He always calls for whichever one of us is not that at that moment.)  They will keep him calm through the night with doses of morphine as needed, but he should be pretty awake and alert sometime tomorrow morning.  We really hope his appetite returns quickly to expedite the recovery time. Plugged in.

Doug's Facebook post... Gideon is out of surgery. Heart is beating on its own. The valve repair didn't go quite as well as everyone wanted. The surgeon called the leakage "moderate" now, but the other procedure to reduce the blood flow to the lungs should reduce the swelling in his heart over the next few months. The surgeon is hopeful about follow up surgeries in the next year or two, but it really depends on how this repair does. When a surgeon uses the word "hopeful" that is not the best thing in the world, but we feel blessed he made it through surgery and we feel peaceful that the Lord is in charge. Deanne's comments to Doug's post... Doug made the last post and I, Deanne, have to just give my take on this. The words "hopeful" were not filled with hope. It was more of "we will see". I asked what the options were for surgery in the future and there are two. They both depend on the valve working ok. The surgeo

We just got word from the operating room that things are going well.  They finally got through the scar tissue from the previous surgery and began the procedures.  Deanne took the call and the nurse told her that they started the valve repair.  She was surprised and asked if the banding on the pulmonary artery was completed.  The nurse told her that the surgeon decided to do the valve repair first.  Ha!  Here is when I get to be as smart as a heart surgeon...at least for little while. When the surgeon told me this morning what he was going to do (banding first then the valve repair) it was a little after 7:00 AM.  Deanne wasn't there yet and my brain was trying to function on about 5 hours of sleep.  So about 30 minutes after he left, I thought to myself, "Why is he doing the arterial banding first?  He should do the valve repair first."  I know I am not a brain surgeon, rocket scientist or heart surgeon, but in my logic, it should be the other way around. If this was

  Gideon is in surgery this morning.  This picture was taken yesterday - he didn't have this smile this morning.  He seemed to know something was up and he was a little melancholy. They are putting in a band to restrict the blood flow through the Pulmonary Artery to reduce the pressure in his lungs.  Then after they get that where they want it, they will put him on the bypass machine and start the valve repair.  That will be a couple of stitches to smooth out the opening in the valve so it closes better.  Then the base of the valve will be strengthened so it keeps a better shape.  They took him in at 8:30.  Our first update came at 10:00.  All the tubes are in and he is doing well.  The next update will be around 11:30 and every hour and a half thereafter.  They don't expect him to be on the bypass machine until about noon.  The surgery will most likely last for 6-7 hours so that will be about 3-4 o'clock this afternoon Utah time.  He will be heavily sedated for at l

  Smiles are twice as precious when they come from a child in ICU and his mom who has been by his side almost around the clock for 12 days.  Smiles were nowhere to be found a couple of days ago.  On Wednesday, Gideon was moved up to the regular floor from ICU after the second cath procedure that was performed on Tuesday.  They wanted to wean him off the heart medication, milrinone which helps the function of the heart, just to see how he handled things on his own again.  That didn't work out too well.    Deanne was with him overnight Wednesday and they both had a sleepless night.  All of the signs of struggle were returning throughout the day on Thursday - sweating, pale bluish coloring, and his EKG was showing different patterns.  Even the nurses were concerned.  The cardiologist on the floor was trying to tell us the EKG monitors were just reading the heart differently and there is nothing to worry about.  We felt totally uncomfortable with that answer.  Something was n

Apparently Deanne and I have been a bit busy since I turned 50.  That was the last blog post anyway.  It must have something to do with recovering from two trips to China last year, a job change, the holiday season and, oh yeah, just having 14 kids at home to manage.  Another contributing factor is the way Deanne has ramped up her Facebook posts.  That has served as a major conduit for staying in touch and getting the most important stuff out there.  As a follow up to me turning 50, I actually received my AARP membership request with the official cards in the mail Saturday.  I thought that stuff comes when you turn 55??  If youth is a state of mind, I am reminding myself that I have a two year old and I still play basketball with 20 year olds on the court without embarrassing myself, so I must not have one foot in the grave yet.  In fact, I often get compliments on my fade away jump shot.  I just don't tell them I have to fade away because if I tried to out jump them straight up