It's A Wonderful Life

Ever Improving

2012-03-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

We are seeing constant growth in Bria and Hyrum.

Two weeks ago I was giving Hyrum and Bria a bath when I started wondering again if she would rather be in China. I decided to ask her.

"Do you want to go to China ?"

Bria "Bria no China, Bria home. Mama China"

Bria fully understood what she was saying.

Another day she was telling me "Mama find me. China, mama get me." We talked a little about her being in China and how she waited for us.

All the prayes I said that the children would be prepared and be accompanied by the angels were heard. The were prepared for us to come and Bria knows that we were looking for her. I wonder if she knows how long we looked for her?

I wrote this back in January but forgot to post it. We haven't had much more talk like this but Bria knows she is home even though she still struggles letting us in her heart. It will come in time.

Hyrum is opening up so much. He is very clingy at times and gives many hugs a day. He will not go to bed without his Mama right next to him. He cuddles up and holds tight to my arm as he falls asleep. He is free telling people that he loves them. This little boy accepts love and gives it freely. What a miracle he is. We would have missed out on great blessings if we had chosen not to bring him home. There were questions if we would. Both of our children are incredible blessings to us. We looked long and hard for them. The battle was fierce in many ways but we won! They are home and adjusting well.

If anyone wants info or help in finding out about adoption please don't hesitate to ask. There are so many blessings that come from this incredible journey. Great growth, love and joy. Not only do we recieve much but there are millions of children just like Hyrum, Bria, Casey, Niya, Marshall, Olivia and Emma that are longing for a mother and father to call their own. I can't imagine not having any one of them.

In the Company of Greatness

2012-02-24T16:05:00.003-07:00

On Sunday we had the opportunity to have Tyler and all his roommates and two girlfriends come for dinner. We had been told they were awesome but I had no idea! We knew 2 of the roommates, Paul and Abe, and absolutely love them. April, Abe's girlfriend is so sweet and kind. Now we totally love the other three, Ben, Grant and Hugh. Ressa and her new friend Mike joined us with Ressa's roommate Tristin. Mike has a good spirit about him and did great considering it was his first time meeting the family. Tristin is a God send. She has been just what Ressa needed. And I can't leave out Jessica, Tyler's girlfriend. This girl is amazing in so many ways but I love how smiley and happy she is. When Sereen heard about the gathering she wanted to come too. In her words "What's two more?" In all there were 28 people for dinner. We had a great time getting to know each other.

We had dinner with home made rolls baked in my new oven. I'm still trying to figure it out so the rolls were a little dark but still very good. After dinner we cleaned up the 3 banquet tables and vacuumed the rice that was stuck in the carpet. Come to find out every one of our guests are gifted musicians. We gathered in the living room around the piano and they took their turns playing and singing. We were in heaven. It is always amazing to be in the company of very talented people. How is it that we can have 9 guests and ALL of them are so gifted?

I stood looking around and I was overtaken by the power within my home. I'm not sure how to say this. I felt like I was in the presence of greatness. I was surrounded by some of our Father's most valiant children. His greatest warriors and most dedicated servants. Their spirit was so clear and strong, emanating goodness and strength. How blessed we were to have them in our home and become acquainted with these awesome friends.

In the moments since then that I have struggled feeling like a good enough mother, I go back to this time and remind myself that these are my children's friends. If the adage is true that we surround ourselves with those we are like then I must be doing something good.

Partial view from one end of the table. It really is a very long table and room. When we bought the house we could not understand why the living room was so long and skinny. We been able to put it to good use though.

View from the other end.

April with Emma. Everyone was so good with the kids. I kept trying to tell the children to calm down but realized the fun was being initiated by the young adults. :))

Paul, who is holding Hyrum, went to Nauvoo with Tyler the first time. They became good friends there and by the grace of God they became roommates this year.

Tyler, Hannah, and Mike, (Ressa's friend ;) joined in a large game everyone had learned at EFY.

Grant writes and sings beautifully. Tristin sitting on the other side of the couch was studying violin
at the UofU when she transfered to BYU.

Jessica surprised me by playing hymns as we talked. She is awesome. We are lucky enough to have her as Tyler's girlfriend.

After Ben played and sang Hyrum was insistent that it was his turn. He jumped up to the piano and started singing. He was too cute. No doubt he came to the right family.

And to save the best for last. Our little Preston. He is getting so cute and smiles a lot. He is very precious.

On another note. Don't put squeaky shoes on little ones when you are going to the library.

Words of Hope

2012-02-20T13:50:00.001-07:00

This video was sent as a Tender Mercy from the Lord. The timing was perfect. I was also reminded of my favorite poem as a youth. I read it so many times that I had it memorized. Sadly time has passed and I had forgotten it. Without knowing the challenges that I was facing my brother sent this reminder to me. Our Father truly is mindful of our needs. I just hope that I can be counted as one to lift and inspire.

The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. "Dee" Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
    my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
    excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
    or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
    and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
    to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
    was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
    the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
    and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
    Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
    which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
    and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
    his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
    “I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
    with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
    “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
    but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
    “There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
    But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
    for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
    You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
    and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
    still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
    Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
    head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
    the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
    you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
    “To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
    the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
    And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
    another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

More To the Story

2012-01-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

The family was going through all the pictures that I posted today on the post "Fun Times". Pierce was taking the pictures and Hannah observing Hyrum. This is the story behind the pictures.

Hyrum was playing the piano then started singing along. He was very intent on what he was doing and did not get distracted by the other 4 kids playing in the same room. He played and sang to his hearts content, or so it seemed. All of a sudden he closed the piano with a groan. He flopped his arms and head onto the piano and started saying a prayer. He looked up and sat that way for a minute opened the piano and started playing again. I wish the camera had been on video.

Introducing the Newest Addition to the Walker Family!

2012-01-24T15:25:00.001-07:00

May we present PRESTON JARED HEATH.

Preston was born January 23, 2012 at 8:17 (I think) in the evening. After 32 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing Preston entered the world healthy and happy weighing 9lbs 2 oz and 21 inches long. All is well with mother and baby.

Sereen may not like me for putting this on but we mothers make many sacrifices for the sake of our children. :))

Fun Times

2012-01-24T14:51:00.003-07:00

We have some fun times here and have taken some cute pictures. I just want to share some with you.

Doug said this picture would be so cute if she didn't have a runny nose. He then proceeded to tell the kids to wipe noses before taking pictures. I had to step in there and remind him that she always has a runny nose.

Hyrum loves to sing and is now at the piano singing every day. It would be so cool if through his life he works hard enough to overcome his CP so that he could play the piano.

Hyrum the frustrated musician taking a break to pray.

Hyrum took this cool picture. Tyler you need to get to work on your photography.

We discovered that Hyrum and Bria LOVE whip cream from the can. We had some left over from a baby shower.

Hyrum's mouth is so full he doesn't know what to do.

He looks over at Creed for help.

Creed pushes the whip cream into Hyrum's mouth and he is open for the next round.

Bria managed to swallow all on her own.

Olivia told me they didn't get much sugar at her last house. I told her that's because it's not good for you. Yup, she loves whip cream too.

Our niece Kayla her husband Kurt and their daughter came for a visit. This is Sereen and Kayla playing Kinect skiing.

Niya playing bowling.

Clayson bowling.

We had a folding party that turned into a fashion show for Bria and Hyrum.

They wanted to try everything on at one time. I need to tell Niya where we wear underwear.

I wish the picture was clear. What cute kids.

Bria and Olivia.

Marshall, Emma, Hyrum, Malia, Bria and Olivia. I was trying to get a fashion shot of Bria and Hyrum but all the other kids had to be a part of it. I couldn't get all of them looking at the camera at one time. Bummer.

You know you have a big family when you fill the dishwasher with only bowls. Ice Cream and cereal for the family produce this stack. We do everything in bulk.

Our 26th Anniversary was on Monday. Olivia hatched the idea to make us dinner while we were at the hospital with Bria. The kids made meatloaf, homemade rolls, corn and jello. They worked really hard and spent all day doing it. This is the end product. They are awesome!

Bria saw this picture and with a disappointed face said, "No dinner."

The Reveal and another Test

2012-01-24T14:14:00.001-07:00

We took off Bria's bandages on Saturday night. The doctor had warned us that it would look bad so we were prepared. It did look gross and concerning but I am trying to have faith in the doctor. Bria's foot looks almost healed and most of the stitches are gone. Her hand though has a couple of fingers that are swollen but I am afraid to put anything on it to help the healing process. The best thing I know to use can sting and I don't know if she will even let me touch the fingers. The purple from the surgery is going away as well as the iodine so it is cleaning up.

Bria ans Hyrum went to Primary with me on Sunday for the first time. In class the teacher had the children hold up 4 fingers. I suddenly realized that Bria may not be able to do that on the sore hand. We still didn't know if she had full function of all the fingers. I must have had a look on my face that concerned the teacher. She said, "Oh, should I not do this?"

I told her that Bria will have to get used to this because that is what she will be the rest of her life. It made me realize that in this society Bria will probably have people that feel sorry for her and try to enable her rather than see her for who she is and allow her to adjust to her norm.

That reminds me of something that she said the day of her surgery. Hyrum, or Di Gang as he insists that we call him now, was counting his fingers. Bria held up her hand and said "Where Bria fingers?" It's as though it was the first time she really noticed that they were missing. She was so cute about it.

Yesterday we went to Primary Children's hospital for a test on Bria's leg. We had to see if she had nerves and a specific muscle required to keep her foot in place once the casting is done. She had to be put under again so we were a little nervous that she would be afraid. The last time she went to a hospital she came back with two owees. She was fantastic. She allowed them to put the mask on her and smiled. Bria woke up fairly quickly this time and we were out of there within an hour of the procedure being done.

The doctor was surprised and pleased by what she saw. Bria has all her muscles and nerves. She couldn't tell us what that meant in terms of treatment because that is not her expertise but from what the other doctor has said this means tat Bria will not have to have a surgery and we can start on the casting process. Good news!

Here are the pictures in story form.

A New Hand

2012-01-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

January 9th Bria had her first surgery. This procedure was to separate her fingers on her left hand and clean her toes on the left foot. Our day started at 5:00am. (I'm getting tired of the four hour sleep nights.) We had to be at Shriner's at 6:00 so we got up put on some clothes and wrapped Hyrum and Bria in blankets. Out the door we went for the 40 minute drive.

We didn't go into surgery until about 9:00 so I don't understand why we had to be there so early. Bria did really good until they put her in the crib. When we walked into the room we saw a metal crib that resembled the ones we saw in the orphanage. In the pictures of different orphanages the cribs tend to be very similar so we assume that Bria had a metal crib. I was concerned about how Bria would react and sure enough she lost it. I say her eyebrows turn red then her nose. The tears came next and crying ensued. I took her out as quick as lightning and we walked out of the room. The nurse took some measurements and when we came back the crib was gone and her blanket was on another bed. This was not good enough for her. I had to sit on the bed and hold her to reassure her that I was not leaving. All she wanted to do was go home. She was filled with the fear we would be leaving her. Shriner's was very accommodating and we were allowed to be with her at all times that she was awake.

When the doctor got out of her traffic jam and got to the hospital Bria went into surgery. We waited about and hour and a half and the doctor came out to let us know everything went well. They took off some lumps and cut the fingers apart. They found that there was no webbing between two of the fingers so they used the skin from the lumps they removed to graft in a webbing. She showed us some pictures and told us Bria would be bandaged up for two weeks and we wouldn't see it until then. She warned us that it would look pretty bad but as it heals it would be good. An hour later they wheeled Bria to the room and she was still totally out. We ended up being in the hospital until 2:30pm. We had to convince the nurse to let us go. I think she liked us because she didn't want us to go. :) We let her know that we had to pick up our son from school in 30 minutes and the next thing we knew we were handed a paper and escorted out the door. I have never had such an easy time of leaving a hospital before. In the end we made it just in time to pick Creed up.

Bria has done very well with the pain. We were able to control it with Ibuprofen and she only needed that for 4 days. She is now starting to put some weight on her left foot and doesn't say anything about it hurting. She is getting pretty tired of sitting around so she is walking on her knees to get where she wants. She is a very resilient little girl.

I have debated if I wanted to put pictures of her hands on the blog. I have been concerned about people response but decided that that does not matter. This is who Bria is and there is no hiding it. It is better to have it in the open so people can be free to ask rather than stare and talk in whispered tones. So please ask whatever you would like and we will answer the best we can. Next procedure is this coming Monday. Another day in the hospital.

Before. There is nothing they can do for her right hand but she is very good at doing most anything she would like with just the finger and thumb.

After surgery while still drugged up. The doll is a real American Girl Bitty Baby that she got at Shriner's. I wish there was a way to send a note to the donors of this doll. For all those that donate to causes keep doing it. There is much gratitude for the kindness.

After surgery. Sorry we didn't get a picture of the foot before. From what the doctor said we don't think there will be much of a change.

Christmas In the Walker Home

2012-01-17T23:12:00.002-07:00

I thought I would do a picture story of Christmas at our house. I know it's a little late but between illness and a baby shower then a surgery time has slipped away. Better late than never.

Santa paid us a visit.
The blond on the right of Santa is a friend. No we haven't gotten another child.

Ressa led the kids in baking sugar cookies. Hyrum had to be in the middle of it all.

Grandma and Grandpa give the kids PJ's every year. We open them on Christmas Eve. The kids love this tradition.

Spontaneous love.

Christmas Eve picture.

Older kids wanted a picture of their own.

Filling stockings takes almost 2 hours. Any idea why?

Almost done. Just the little gifts to go. Oops only half way there.

Ready for Christmas morning.

The kids get a new movie Christmas morning to give us 2 more hours of sleep. They all sleep downstairs and when the movie is over they have to wait until the camera is ready.

Before the chaos.

The simple pleasures of life. A pen that shoots a ball from the top.

I don't think Hyrum knew what to do with the tunnel.

Malia wanted a sticky hand more than anything else. It took some doing but we found one. I love those kinds of Christmas lists.

We're growing out of our living room. :)

Casey wanted one of the new automatic Nerf guns. There was no way I was spending that kind of money on a toy. I got an email alert of a great sale. The cool new guns were more than 50% off. Good enough deal for me but I couldn't get just one so all the boys got a gun. They have the greatest Nerf wars!

What a doll.

And she got the doll.

Bria loves to ride on shoulders. Ressa obliged and then Bria had to have her doll on her shoulders too.

Bria then had to have her doll on Mom and Dad's heads next.

A Beautiful Day

2012-01-01T19:26:00.001-07:00

Last month was Olivia's finalization. For those that don't understand what the means here is a simple explanation. When a child is adopted here in the states the courts or agency take official custody for 6 months. This time is to make sure that the family and child bond well and everyone wants to make this permanent. After the 6 month wait the family can go to court and petition for finalization to make the adoption permanent. We had the opportunity to do that with Olivia on Friday December 9.

Everything went very well. It's a little nerve wracking to walk into a court room with a judge staring at you with no emotion. I wasn't nervous until I saw the judge. In the past we have been in either the judges office or in a specific court room that they have video capabilities. The judges have always been very friendly and smiley. This judge was very different.

The attorney asked a lot of questions that we have never had asked before. Things like, am I prepared to parent Olivia, has anyone coerced me into this, do I want to be her mother and a lot of other questions. I began to feel like I was on trial and somehow I was failing. I worried they wouldn't think I was a fit parent. They finish with me then ask Doug if he was in agreeance to the adoption and if he thought I would be a good mother. He answered all of about 5 questions! It was amazing how the focus was on the mom. I guess everyone knows who really does all the work as a parent. :) When everything was done the judge smiled and offered to take pictures with us. He was so intimidating that we started walking out and were going to skip the pictures. He saw the camera and said "It looks like you want to take pictures." He was very nice from that point on. Funny Olivia said that she wasn't scared at all.

We then spent some time downtown seeing some Christmas things. We first went to Dessert Book store. They invented a machine that simulates making gingerbread men. It was very fun to watch. They gave us cookies and we watched a video on how they made it. We then went on Trax to The Grand America and did a scavenger hunt. At the end they give out huge shortbread cookies that are awesome. It makes me miss the Scottish shortbread cookies my great grandma made every year when I was a child. We then went out to lunch at Chuck-a-Rama. We had a great time and a very memorable day. Everyone was so happy. There was no quarrelling at all.

Olivia is officially a Walker!!

Mom, Olivia and Dad officially a family.
We didn't realize the lighting was so bad until we got home.

The neat Gingerbread cookie maker at Desseret Book.

Casey got left in the bathroom. :) We got a block away and sent Pierce back for him.
Casey was hurring as fast as he could. It's a good thing he used the bathroom first.

And we're back together. Casey is the comic relief in the family even when he doesn't mean to be.

The kids were just as excited to ride Traxx as doing the other activities.
I love the free ride zone!

Hyrum and Bria needed to take a break after two clues on our scavenger hunt
They found this couch and made themselves at home.
They really can't get any cuter.

Emma and Bria were very serious about filling out their cards.
I wish I could have saved the cards. Their scribbles were adorable.
They had to turn the cards in for a sticker and cookie.

Most of the family hunting for the next clue.

I had Creed take a picture of this because it is so fun and colorful.
I wish it would have had more of Olivia in it.
Those who have been in my home have seen my gumball jars.
I have decided that some day I want part of my home to be as magical as this store.
It felt like we were in Charlie and the chocolate factory.
They had some really fun ideas!!

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

2011-12-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

This is Ressa, the eighteen year old daughter. I have to know how to blog for a Technology Skills Assessment at BYU so I figured I could learn by doing a post for my mom. She thought it was a great idea because she doesn't have to feel guilty for not updating!

People often ask us what Christmas is like at our house and today is your lucky day because you get to hear all about it. Christmas weekend was crazy, but it was a blast! Christmas Eve started off with getting ready for our new family picture. This picture's the best we could get in the midst of a crazy day. Our family changes so often that doing occassional snapshots in our living room is much more reasonable than getting professionals done every year...or sometimes even twice a year. After taking this picture, we ran last minute errands, ate a very yummy Christmas dinner, and opened new pajamas from Grandma and Grandpa. We read Christmas stories and then everyone slept (or attempted to sleep) in our family room downstairs. Christmas morning found a couple kids awake at 5 a.m. impatiently waiting for everyone to wake up so we could watch our new movie, "Mr. Popper's Penguins." Mom and Dad started the tradition of giving us a new movie every Christmas morning so they could get a couple more hours of sleep. After the movie, we gave stockings to our parents that some of us had put together and then everyone ran upstairs to see what our parents gave us. Another reason our family can be a bit of a freak show is because we don't believe in Santa. Our parents let the cat out of the bag when I was about ten and since then, have taught all their kids that Santa was just a fun Christmas tradition. I like it much better this way because the idea of parents convicing children something is real just to have them find it was all a lie doesn't seem right to me. Santa's a fun tradition, but not worth a child's faith in what his/her parents teach. It also helps bring the focus of Christmas back to the Savior and His birth. Since Christmas fell on a Sunday this year, we had to fit watching the movie, opening presents, and skyping with our missionary brother Britton all before church at eleven where Mom sang in a trio and sounded great! After church, we spent two hours opening family gifts. After everything was open and the living room was a disaster, we tried out our new Kinect games (Disneyland Adventures...YAY!), played with some fancy shmancy nerf guns, and just relaxed. Well, there you have it, an extremely simplified version of Christmas at the Walker house. If you want more details, feel free to call my mom.

Now that I know how to load a picture and post words, I need to embed a video. Oh dear, here we go! This video had my oldest brother, Tyler and I laughing hysterically. Hopefully it makes you at least crack a smile!

The Funny Things Kids Say

2011-12-18T19:21:00.001-07:00

Sitting in a restaurant after the finalization for Olivia, Clayson got Hot Chocolate.

Clayson, "Mom, this is still too hot!"

Me, "Do you want some of my ice?"

Clayson, "Is it warm ice or cold ice?"

In the same restaurant, which happened to be all you can eat, so there were A LOT of gray haired people. Emma very loudly says.

"Grandma Dead!"

Her grandma died a year ago and still thinks about it.

OK, Casey has had a couple of good ones lately but these two are the best.

We were watching a special on some orphans in Uganda. These kids were between 6 and 11 years old and cute as can be. For those that don't know, Casey is black and so were these children. Close to the end of the program Casey says,

"It's hard to tell them apart, they all look the same."

I was getting ready to go pick up a friend about 30 minutes away. I was looking forward to the drive down without children that could talk to me. Just my own thoughts, what a break.

Casey asked, "Can I come?"

Me, "No, I'm going to go by myself."

Casey, "Why?"

Me, "Because I need space."

Casey, "But I'm gonna be sitting in the back."

Here is a serious one.

Last week Bria looked at a picture. She picked it up and pointed to a pictures of brownies and asked "What is that?" She then pointed to the ice cream and said "Cold."

Bria is picking up on the language very quickly. She is now trying to talk about more complex things that she doesn't have the words for yet. Both kids can understand most anything we need them to. It is so amazing how fast the children learn.

I was going to post this separately but decided that since I was on the computer I might as well do it now.

Bria has transformed in the last few weeks. For quite a while she would have nothing to do with prayers if it was up to her. We happen to say a lot of prayers around here. One day she folded her arms and told me to fold mine and said "prayer." She then began to say a little prayer. She had me tell her all the kids names so she could copy them. The next week at the dinner table she folded her arms, bowed her head, and closed her eyes. Doug had called on Clayson to say the prayer and before we knew it Bria was praying for the family. She started the prayer "Heavenly Father" proceeded to bless the food and say all the names of every member of the family and said "Jesus Christ, Amen." It was very sweet.

Both Hyrum and Bria are very sensitive to things of the Spirit. They both point out Jesus in pictures they have never seen and love saying prayers. It is neat to see how theses children though abandoned by their earthly parents were never abandoned by their Father in Heaven and they know this.

From an Orphans Prespective

2011-12-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

I just came across this video yesterday and it helped to clear up some thoughts that I have had. There are times when I have wondered if it wouldn't have been better for one of my children to have stayed in the orphanage. This child has suffered so much and if they had stayed there these things would not have happened. I know it would not have been the ideal but maybe better than what they have been through. I have to trust God that what He puts into place is always the best thing for each individual. So that means that no matter how difficult the challenge this chain of events will serve them best throughout their life.

Watching this video has helped me to see that in the long run what all children need is love no matter the road to get there.

A little background on the video: The girl in the video clip was adopted days before she turned 14 this past April. To know what she is talking about you need to know that she has severe scoliosis. Her mother was preparing some things on adoption for her church and this girl asked her what she was doing. When the mother told her she was trying to help others understand the need to adopt the girl wanted to help. The mom brought over someone with a video camera and completely unrehearsed the girl began to talk. These are her heart felt feelings about the orphans and adoption. Enjoy the video.

http://elliourgiftfromgod.blogspot.com/p/xiaoyun-speaks.html

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2011-12-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

OK, today was one of those days for me. At 3:30 I very calmly said "everyone needs to clean the kitchen and family room." Then I walked out. On the way to my room to lay down to pull myself together Bria wanted to be held. I just needed some time alone but that doesn't ever happen right now. I put her on the bed and laid down. Bria sat and stared at me while I closed my eyes. I finally told her she could go play and she took the bait. I just laid there for a while longer before I got up.

I had a lot of things to do that didn't get done because of other circumstances today, including going shopping. We have food but I had no idea how to put it together to make it tasty. I made pancakes and sat the kids down to eat while I finished cooking. I usually try to finish cooking before feeding the kids but I just wanted it done. While cooking Pierce got up and told me to go eat. He is very in tune with my needs and thoughtful. I was close to being done so I told him I would just finish it up. Well, I wouldn't have let him finish anyway just because that is how I am. Niya noticed what was happening and she got up and started to push me to the table. She then said. "Go sit down, Pierce will do it." It was endearing and funny at the same time. Yes, Pierce would do it. Pierce would not sit down until I did then we both ate.

That was a good way to soften a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

On a side note, I am falling madly in love with my little Bria. She is really coming out of her shell. She had to lay by me last night to go to sleep. Not only by me but under my covers sharing her blanket with me. She even gave me a hug and kiss and said "I love you". We are making fantastic progress.

Hyrum's A Star - and other stuff

2011-11-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

Hyrum was one of the lucky children in China to be supported by a fantastic group called Love Without Boundaries. This organization does everything from medical intervention for orphans to supporting with food, clothes and supplying foster care. Along with that support also comes advocating for the children that are available for adoption. It is through their blog that I learned about Hyrum. When we got back from China I requested any information or pictures they had of him as he grew. Just a couple of weeks ago I was asked to write an update on Hyrum. I was happy to do whatever they asked of me. I don't have a lot of time or brain power to write well but I figures someone would edit for me. Thank heavens that a great lady Barbara is more talented than me because she cleaned up what I had sent her and published it on the LWB blog.

It occurred to me yesterday that my little boy was going to be a star. How cool is that?! Here is the link to the LWB post if you are interested. http://www.lwbcommunity.org/an-adoption-story-hyrum. That is my little boy! :)

When Barbara sent me the proof she said that the picture of Hyrum on the counter surrounded by the family could keep her motivated. I almost didn't send that picture. I really don't like pictures of me, mostly because I don't like how I look and I don't feel like that is the me inside. I haven't done very well lately of getting my makeup on either. I really am back in baby mode. I was hoping Barbara wouldn't use that picture but she did. It is amazing to me how the Lord works. I don't like a picture but send it anyway so they would have more to choose from. That picture not only gets used but makes a difference in someone Else's life. The Lord is good.

A little update on Hyrum and Bria. Bria is talking more and more. She has opened up a lot more and is giving hugs but refuses to let me give her a kiss if I ask. I get around that by just doing it.:)) Bria has been sleeping on a twin bed next to our bed while Hyrum has manipulated his way to our bed and sometimes in the middle of us. I lay with them while they fall asleep. Hyrum cuddles in and I put my arm out to touch Bria. Most of the time she moves as far away as possible. In the last few days she has taken my hand and hugged it or cuddled up to Hyrum, who is next to me or other little things that show she is opening up. Last night she scooted onto my bed and took my hand for a while. That was huge for her! She has also been running up to me and giving me big hugs. We see much more happiness. Not to often does she close down into herself or seem sad. She is playing and wanting to be treated like a baby.

Hyrum is also doing very well. He is such a happy little boy. He is still learning that you can't hurt someone when you can't take the toy out of their hand or hit when you don't get your way. The funny thing with him is he is so sneaky about when he is mad or mean. It's kind of funny some times. Hyrum is going to be the drama king of the family. We have used the word dramatic numerous times regarding Hyrum lately. Look out drama department of Bingham High. We have a new leading man in training. Did I ever say he also loves to sing and dance.

I am going to add some pictures of the Christmas tree decorating.

Hyrum wearing an elf hat. He had to peek out from under it.

Bria with her new look.

Any guess who's taking pictures?

Santa in training.

Bria's peace sign. Too cute.

Malia got to put the star on the tree.

I know it's a fad to take pictures crooked

but Casey never got that memo.

How did he know?

We Have a Court Date!!!!!!!!!!

2011-11-30T16:45:00.002-07:00

We finally got a court date for Olivia's finalization! It has felt like such a long wait. We were hoping to have it done the end of October but that is not how people work. The more people in a process the slower it goes. But we finally conquered. We meet the judge Friday December 9th at 9:00am. We are going to take Olivia out and buy her a new outfit then the day of finalization we will go out to eat. We gave her the choice of what she wanted to do to celebrate and she chose to go to Chuck-A-Rama. She is so excited.

We get notes all the time about how much she loves us and how much she loves the family. I am so grateful for this. One day she will believe how wonderful she is and feel like she deserves happiness. The nightmares are coming very frequently now. It is clear where her fears lie as she tells us her dreams. I hope that these will come to a stop fairly soon after all the legal work is done. She deserves to feel safe and secure.

We decorated the Christmas Tree this week. The year we got married we bought a Precious Moments ornament for our first Christmas. This started a family tradition. Each time a child was born or joined our family we bought them an ornament for the year the child was born. Of course, there are also ornaments that belong to individual children that they have collected over the years. Olivia noticed this and began to get sad. I knew this would happen so a few weeks ago I bought an ornament for Olivia and Hyrum (Bria's was too expensive, still looking). I was planning on decorating the tree with Doug there and presenting the ornament to Olivia as her parents. Things didn't work out the way I planned and Doug wasn't there for the tree trimming. I had to tell Olivia that she had something when Dad got home. We saved a spot on the tree right in front for her. As soon as Doug got home she had to remind me that we had something for her. We gave her the ornament and she hung it in her special spot on the tree.

Olivia is doing so well. She is a strong beautiful girl with a majesty within her. There will be a day that I will be standing with my beautiful daughter dressed in her white wedding dress. I will look at her golden skin and vibrant smile and my heart will be filled with gratitude that I have the opportunity to be her mother and guide her through the troubled waters of life. I will see how far she has come and realize even more deeply how strong and valiant she is. We are truly blessed to have her.

The Latest Going Ons

2011-11-20T23:37:00.002-07:00

It seems that most of the time I sit down to write a blog post these days I don't know where to start. Life, or children, have got me going so many mental and emotional directions that I can't stop to organize my thoughts. So I guess I will just ramble a little about the goings on in our home the last few weeks.

We had our first post placement for Hyrum and Bria and the final post placement for our Olivia. We sent all the paperwork in to China and got that off my plate. I don't know who thought that there would be anything substantial to write in a post placement after being home for 30 days. I can tell though that whoever it was had no idea what it is like to bring a new child into the family that doesn't know the culture, proper behaviors, language or have normal attachments. If they did they would have asked for the first visit and paperwork to be done no earlier than 6 months. I really thought that we were done with paperwork when we picked up our children. All the post placement visits we have had, and we've had a lot, the social worker did all the work. All I had to do was make sure the kids were dressed and the living room cleaned up. Not with China. I had to run around and print pictures, put them on card stock with captions, copy multiple papers and get more information to the social worker. What a pain it was. Now we only have to do this in 4 more months then again at 12 months home and 2, 3, and 5 years home. I already promised not to beat my children what else do they want from me.

We are pushing the attorney to get a court date for Olivia's finalization as soon as possible. We are told the normal wait is 2 weeks but because of Thanksgiving it could be 3. That puts us into the middle of December. Olivia is getting more and more anxious about having this done. She is afraid it won't happen and has nightmares most nights that she will always be an orphan. But then she is afraid to have the finalization for other reasons. What a tangle of emotions she has right now. I can see this get harder on her every day. She needs all the prayers you have to offer right now. She is such a sweet girl. She struggles with feelings no one should have to fight especially because of where they came from. I have faith that one day she will be made whole, healed from the wounds inflicted on her but it will be a difficult journey. I feel to some degree that I may be sharing things that are too private but I want people to understand the difficulties that arise for these poor children. They need a lot of love and support. I know many of you are concerned for her and some have made a great effort to support her. Thank you Tammy for sending her the pillow pet. She loved it and keeps it on her bed to sleep with at night. It is a sign to her that she is loved. Mom, thanks for the letter. It is still held in a special place for her and she can't wait to see you again. It only takes something little to remind her she is special. Hopefully one day that belief will be the dominate thought for her.

We have had two snow storms in the last 2 weeks. All the kids had to go out as soon as they could to play. Olivia was disappointed that we don't get more snow because where she lived before they had 6-8 feet in the yard. She didn't have all the awesome brothers and sisters to share it with though. Bria enjoyed the snow but doesn't seem too impressed. It is so cute to see her pull her jacket up over her head when we go out in the cold. I realized that I need to use the coat with a hood from now on. Hyrum LOVES the snow. We were headed into Costco and it was snowing a little. He didn't want to go in the store but didn't put up much of a fuss. When we came out big flakes were floating down. He ran right out into the street to enjoy the snow. It's a good thing it was 20 minutes past closing so there weren't very many cars. He danced around looking up into the sky in awe. One flake landed right on the top of his nose and he jumped and screamed. He immediately started laughing. I wish I had a video camera. He was just too cute.

We also spent a couple of day canning applesauce. Sereen came over and helped me do 160 quarts. There is no way I could have done it without her help. Having great older kids is more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined. All the kids got into the action. They washed, pulled off stickers, quartered, smashed and poured to their hearts content. I don't know where they got it but my kids like to can. We had a very sticky mess when we were done and by 2:00am I was exhausted and left it to be cleaned the next morning. Now can you believe that not one child wanted to help me clean that mess? Nope not one. That's OK, I didn't want to do it either.

Hannah's birthday cake!

Of course, Sereen made it. She just needed an excuse.

She's waited for a couple of birthdays until someone wanted it.

Hannah was very happy to oblige.

Our Hannah turned 11 this year. She is changing fast.

The boys love to set up the Hot Wheel tracks.

Marshall taking a break from Hot Wheels to read to Hyrum.

Sereen gave Casey the photography bug while we were in China.

This was a shot in motion. He has some other cool pictures.

The first very wet snow of the year.

Love Emma's pose. I have no idea where she gets it.

I also don't know how she doesn't get cold when all she wears is a light sweater.

I made her at least put that on.

Bria, Casey, Hyrum and Hannah.

I bet that was Hyrum and Bria's first time to even see snow.

Pierce at the beginning of his huge snow ball.

Aren't they adorable.
Niya and Clayson worked hard together to make this big of a snow ball.

Malia pulling Bria in the sled.

They offered Hyrum to go on the sled but he hesitated just a split second to long.

Bria sat right down and settled in for the ride.

She loved it.

What a handsome boy Creed is.

I just wish we had some good pictures of him.

He professes that he doesn't like to have his picture taken.

Niya has a smile that is contagious.

Casey diving into his snow ball.

He loves this picture.

Hyrum and Hannah

Olivia enjoying her time in the snow with her siblings.

It's Been a While

2011-11-09T09:54:00.004-07:00

OK, I realized it has been a while but I didn't realize how long it's been since we posted.

Life around here has gotten extremely busy. We have had 7 doctor appointments in under two weeks with two more next week. That will make 9 appointments or procedures in 15 days. We already have one surgery scheduled for the beginning of January to separate Bria's little fingers and clean up one hand and foot. Our next appointment we will get the results of both children's MRI's. Hopefully we will get a full feel of what is going on and know where to start. We found out that Hyrum has another special need. Because of this the MRI was a great blessing in knowing where he stands physically.

We owe so much to Shriner's Hospital. They got Bria in to see the doctor within a week and while there for Bria's club foot I mentioned the new info we found out about Hyrum. I asked a couple of questions knowing they would have better info than I could get off the Internet and could point me in the right direction for care. As the doctor and I started talking the great man that has been there for us since last November said,

"We can take care of that."

Within minutes they had a registration packet for Hyrum and got him in for xrays. We walked out of the initial appointment for Bria not just having a consultation but all the initial workup with xrays and 3 more appointments scheduled with specialists. On top of that Hyrum also had his exam and xrays with 2 more appointments and both had MRI's scheduled for the next week. We had to wait while the secretary called Primary Children's Hospital to schedule the MRI's so they could ask questions. Near the end of the call the secretary got uncomfortable and had to answer "bill it to Shriner's". She had to repeat this twice. Now for the second time the tears came, knowing if it were not for the goodness of all those that donate these children may have been left in China or our family would be financially stuck for years to come.

We came home that night and told the children about our experience. The whole family is now very anxious to give back to Shriner's. We are brain storming for things we can donate. While there Bria came home with a fleece blanket and two beanie babies. Hyrum got a car and beanie baby. We thought that we could make blankets and on black Friday buy a bunch of cars to donate. Olivia is very excited to have a donation party. She wants to have projects for people to do and then donate them. She even wants to do this for her birthday. She is a very unselfish girl.

All of the children are doing so well. The adjustment for the family has been very smooth. No one is showing signs of trouble, not even a little insecurity. Hyrum is getting better and better. He loves his family so much!! He is now starting to work with his emotions and is settling down quite a bit. He still makes messes but is not getting into so many things just to throw them around. He can now sleep with us in bed and even moves himself right next to me in the middle of the night. He won't go to sleep without me holding him, which is good in this situation. Hyrum is now discriminating between those he knows and those he does not. He is getting shy and reserved around others. For those that know attachment you know that is fantastic. He looks in our eyes easily and offers kisses all the time. At church Sunday there was a new baby, Hyrum had to look at the baby. He took his little hand and very gently stroked the babies cheeks for a long time. It is clear that he has helped with the babies at the orphanage. When he gets angry we don't get the pinching and hitting like a week ago. And when he does something wrong he fairly easily will give hugs and kisses and try to make things better. Bria is also moving along well in her adjustment. She is very attached to me and wants me all the time. Like a baby she wants me to walk around the house seeing everything. Because she is not the size of a baby that is not possible, besides I have other things to do. She is now showing real emotion and will call everyone by name. She is trying to learn English and has used some phrases properly. The other day I was looking for my bag so we could go to the doctor. I had her in my arms and was getting a little worried as I kept saying "where's by bag". Bria pointed and said "there it is". She is a smart little girl. She is still reserved and scared at times but doing much better. Her progression is much faster than I expected and you can see that she is feeling safer here. We are loving the little personality that we are starting to see.

I had to go somewhere last Wednesday night. Doug stayed home so the kids could still feel safe. I had a window of 10 minutes that he could call and tell me to come back home. No call so I thought things were going well. I got home 2 hours later and Hyrum

All our posts seem to be on Hyrum and Bria lately. It's not because we love them best they are just the center of every ones lives right now. We are going to have our post placement for Olivia, Hyrum and Bria tomorrow. We are all excited about that. Olivia really needs this to be done!! Please pray for a speedy finalization. She is doing well but I do see signs of emotional discomfort because of not having things done yet. The visit will go very well I am sure. We have a great social worker and all the kids are doing amazingly well.

The cool guy. Casey's favorite picture.

A friend gave this blanket to Bria.
Right after the friend left Bria laid the blanket out
and laid down.

Playing hide and seek with Pierce one night at about 9:45pm.
They now have to hide in the pantry when they play.

Hyrum discovered the cups and how to get water by himself.
I figured it better show him a safe way to play that didn't include
pouring the water all over the house.

One of Bria's first kisses.

Now I have to post a few more times over the next couple of days to catch up on the rest of the family. More fun pictures to come.

Adjustments

2011-10-30T23:49:00.001-06:00

Wow, I had no idea how easy I had it before these new children came home. I had a 5 year old as my youngest and didn't realize that I had some freedom. I could choose to clean the house or do laundry. I could make my bed in the morning. I could even shower before 1:00pm. I have been thrown back into the land of the young mother. This brings back so many memories and a new understanding of what I have been through in the past.

I remember the days that dragged into months of holding a child and another one needing me so I picked them up with one hand and held two children at once. The times of sitting in the rocking chair with two children on my lap and the neighbor showing up. Of course my house was a disaster just like now. The times when there were toys strewn all over the house and dishes on the table from breakfast long after lunch was served. The days of dirty faces and sticky hands all over the place. Mirrors slimmed with soap from children playing on the counter while I try to make myself look presentable. The list goes on and on.

I applaud all the mothers out there in this stage of life. It is not easy. The hardest part is letting everything else go for the sake of the children's long term needs. It creates chaos in my life and soul. I then get impatient and work as hard as I can to control that. That is the true work, controlling my expectations and emotions. Not cleaning and cooking. That comes easy.

We are still adjusting the sleep patterns of the children. I have not figured out how to give them the needed naps and still get them to bed at a decent time. The other day they both fell asleep about the time that I needed to pick up Creed from school. I was gone no longer than 10 minutes. I walked in the door and Hyrum was sobbing in Hannah's arms. I ran to him and cuddled him. In a few minutes he calmed down and sat with me. For the next couple of days he would not go anywhere that he couldn't see me and most of the time since then I have had to hold him. It is good but sad. I know that he sees me as his mother and protector but sad that he has not had this all along and is just learning he is loved.

Whenever Doug and I take Hyrum and Bria out for some bonding time and date night Hyrum gets very pouty and sad. The first time we left he about jumped out of his skin to get back to the house. Friday when we got home from taking Tyler to dinner he couldn't get out of the car seat fast enough. He was giddy with excitement! He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house. We then had to check every bed to make sure all the children were still here. This child loves his family and always wants us to stay together no matter where we go. I have heard many times "I'm so glad we got him."

Bria is still struggling. I think it will be a hard road for her. I'm sure within a year, hopefully sooner, I can post that Bria is herself and doing wonderfully. She is laughing and playing but there is a deep sadness inside of her. She could really use every ones prayers. I know they are heard and answered!

Pictures and Fun

2011-10-30T23:29:00.000-06:00

While we were waiting for our last flight in LA from China, with some very tired children, Bria began to cry and couldn't be consoled. Doug started walking around with her but it didn't help so we picked up our stuff and tried to find a new location that would distract her. We went down the elevator and as I was getting our things situated Doug felt something warm on his stomach. I looked around and saw something dripping from the bottom of the front pack. Yep, Bria wet his pants!

Ressa came home for the weekend and we pulled out the ice cream. It takes a special occasion to have ice cream at our house. She served up a very small portion for Hyrum and a good sized one for herself. They sat down to eat and Ressa tried to give Hyrum a bite. He didn't want it. He wanted a bite out of her bowl. It didn't take too long for him to make it clear that he wanted her bowl not his. Thinking it was the color of the bowl that was the problem I took Ressa's ice cream out of the bowl and traded. He would have nothing to do with that, he wanted the bigger portion of ice cream. Who cares about the color it's the amount that counts.

Ressa telling her sister how much she loves her.

Tyler's birthday. Every birthday has to include gum!

Malia trying to get her sister to have some fun.

This next group of pictures were at a park close to our home.

There is a lake at this park that we like to swim at. Olivia and Malia were picking up rocks for Hyrum and Bria to throw in the water. I don't think they have ever had the opportunity to do that before. They loved it.

The kids love to play together. When the social worker interviewed the children for the adoption she asked each one of them what their favorite thing to do was. Most of the kids said to play games with their brothers and sisters. After the third child said that she asked what kind of games and they said balls, hide and seek, and other games. She was pretty surprised that all the children love to do these things together.

Another thing they like to do is play dolls. Creed, Pierce and Casey have grown out of that but the rest still love it. Now they have added Hyrum and Bria.

The kids on their first four wheeler ride. They laughed and giggled the whole time. After about 40 minutes of going around in circles Dad came home and I was able to get them off.

Tantrum Fun

2011-10-25T21:34:00.001-06:00

Names have been changed to protect the innocent, or not so innocent. This story had to be saved and enjoyed. One day when they are 18 they will laugh and laugh at this and so will we.

Any mother of a child of significant age will know the joys of a tantrum. Well, it's been quite a while since we have had one because of the ages of children we have, until recently. Since being home from China we have been able to enjoy many a tantrum from the newest additions. Today we had some backtracking by one of the older kids, no it was not Ressa. We got the best tantrum, EVER!

One of the children was having a hard time with something another child was doing. They decided to take action and began hitting and being mean to the second child. Second child came to me to let me know of the injustice. Well, of course I want to know about this kind of behavior.

Child 2 "Mom they are hitting me and being mean because, (who knows, I didn't get that far)."

Me to child 1 "You need to sit in the naughty step."

Child 1 "NO"

"If you don't go to the naughty step you will be in more trouble"

I then count to three and child 1 still refuses to sit. I take them by the arm to lead them to bed. We get to the bed and the tantrum continued. Usually the children only sit in the bed for a short time depending on the offense. I walk out of the room and I hear this.

"I hate you Mom!"

Me with a smile "OK, you can sit in your bed until dinner." It is now 5:00pm.

Child 1 "I hate you worse!"

"OK, you can sit in your bed until after dinner."

Child 1with all the passion they can muster "I hate you worser!"

P.S. Pictures on the next post. Sorry for the lack. Life has gotten very busy. :)

A Sad Story and Observations on Morality

2011-10-22T22:45:00.000-06:00

I hadn't planned on posting today but after seeing a story on the Internet I just couldn't hold it in. Go to this link and read.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=235&sid=17754365&title=chinese-toddler-ignored-after-hit-and-run-dies

For those that don't have time to read this the story is about a toddler in Foshan City, China that wandered out into the street and got hit not just once but twice by cars. Neither driver stopped and 18 people passed by a bleeding 2 year old either not noticing or not caring, one of the two. This story was very disturbing because we were just there and it would have happened about the same time we left. Our Hyrum was cared for in that city for the first 4 years of his life.

While in China I was unsettled by some things. It was bothersome that people in general didn't take turns, wait in lines, follow traffic lights or even smile at someone that smiles at them. While in China, we as westerners were always the last one on the train, bus, elevator, etc, even if we got there first and had young children with us. (There were a few exceptions of both men and women giving up their seats on the subway - that was very kind and appreciated.) On the sabbath we were scheduled to do some activities, which is not unusual even here in a basically Christian nation, and had to decline. We spent some time wandering around on Sundays to get out of the room. On the first Sunday I came to the realization that we were in a very Godless country. The feeling of the country in general is "all about Me" and money. Over the rest of the next two weeks we saw the fruits of such a way of life.

I talked with a hotel worker a few times and was given a very clear picture of what is happening in a society that at one point was steeped in traditions that included politeness and a basic sense of morality. This young adult girl was very open about many things. She wanted to know how we deal with moral issues with our children, however, she wasn't that tactful about how she put it. She explained to me that her grandparents' generation believe that a person needs to wait until they are married to share themselves, but her parents are allowing it and in her generation it is just expected. She asked me what I thought. I clearly told her that the US is pretty much the same way but I believe that everyone needs to wait. I was incredulous when she said proudly "this is not my first boy!" I was sad to see that she thought I was so wrong.

Back to the news story. Most streets in the cities we visited in China are small, about two car widths, and yet 3 cars driving side by side is normal. The markets are tiny with an open front. Many people live above or behind their shop. Children are there with the parents until they go to school at 5 years old. It was not unusual to see a small child hanging out in one of these shops. To have a two year old wander out is reasonable, especially when mom and dad are both busy. I place no blame on the parents as that is how things are done there. It is a quickly changing world for the people in China and the way of doing some things hasn't caught up with others. As we read the story we were not surprised in the least by what happened. When people say you take your life in your hands on the streets of China it is true. Drivers will not stop for a pedestrian even in a crosswalk with a green walk sign. Pedestrians walk across roads with large barriers and fences and weave in and out of moving traffic because no one wants to wait. There is no order entering and exiting the Metro or subway. Yes, it is clearly marked where to exit and enter but no one cares. You have to literally push your way in and out. The attitude of those that did not stop and help this little child was evident in a lot of people that we saw.

We had many experiences to show us the more tender side of some in China as well. Those that gave up their seat on the Metro because we had little children. People that stopped us to give directions from overhearing we were lost. Others that would stop to tell us good job for adopting the children. And those that truly wanted to communicate with us for some reason but we couldn't because we knew no Chinese. Some others humbly overcame their fear and nervousness to speak with us just to practice their English.

I am not China bashing here, I think there are many good things about China as a country and it's people. We enjoyed our time there and love our children. I am just so sad to see the decline in the world and the lack of charity throughout all societies. It is a sad state that we have come to as a people in general. We see these kinds of things all over the world and in our own backyards. I often think about what can be done. The scripture about how Alma stepped down from the judgement seat to preach the gospel because of the wickedness of the people comes to mind. The only way that we can change things is by teaching about Christ then living a virtuous life ourselves.

Hero Mom

2011-10-21T09:53:00.000-06:00

This is Sereen again. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how amazing my mom is and convince you why she's not only a hero to me but to many people around her. That's why I will just ask you to do me a favor.

Wednesday night my mom's cousin Alice nominated her to be Allstate's "Hero Mom." The winner will receive $2,500. To win my mom would have to receive the most votes. Which means we need as many people as possible to visit this link and select "vote" next to the story posted by Alice of "I'm so funny (sometimes)" about DeAnne. You can vote once a day until November 4th. My mom is currently in second place but needs about 300 more votes to catch up with the first place. Your vote will count! you can also spread the word by inviting your friends to this facebook group.

Thanks for all of your support I know it means a lot to me and my mom.

Just to illustrate how big of a heart my mom has: Alice nominated her thinking my family could use the extra money for Christmas especially after having spent so much on the adoptions. My mom's first thought was to use the money to help someone else adopt. And that's why we all love her, always thinking of others!

The Flu Again!

2011-10-20T13:36:00.000-06:00

I have known of many people that get sick when they travel to pick up kids so I brought an arsenal of meds just in case. I didn't need any of them but as soon as we got home Bria started in with the flue. At first I wasn't sure that's what it was. She was cranky and sullen, wouldn't eat and started to have diarrhea. All signs of transition. One night she started to act like she was going to throw up. Soon after the fever came. We didn't get much sleep and she felt miserable. After 4 days of off and on symptoms she pulled out of it. Then I came down with it. Unlike children though moms can't just stop and lie around and cry when they want something. It would be nice though. Many others in the family have sore throats and are getting head colds. This too came from Bria. She has had a runny nose since we first got her. I thought it ran its course in China but we still are wiping her nose once or twice a day.

Bria is showing signs of some progress and will willingly come to mom but most of the time prefers Creed or Dad. I made Doug change sides of the bed so in the middle of the night he can take care of her without me suffering the rejection. Rejection isn't easy but when you are woken up in the middle of the night not having slept much in the past week then thoroughly rejected, it requires a lot of patience. Right now I would rather avoid the situation than have to be the better person. She has moments of being happy and smiley as well as crying. I anticipate the crying will begin to diminish and the smiles will be more prevalent.

Hyrum is doing very well but I do see him adjusting still. He is usually running around the house getting into things. He laughs a lot and loves to be tickled. He runs away as soon as we take his diaper off and wants us to chase him. He eats most everything around. But in the mornings when he wakes he is stunned and sad. I think he is still surprised when he sees he is not in familiar surroundings. I pick him up and lay with him as he cries. One of the children will walk in and that will distract him. If Hannah comes in he immediately smiles and wants to go to her. He has nightmares most nights but they are getting less intense. I can hold and rock him and he goes right back to sleep.

Something that we have seen with both children is the lack of ability to deal with disappointment. I never would have thought of this as being a challenge for them. If they don't get their way they go into a fit. Bria will cry and cry and it sounds like she is pushing it out. Hyrum will run to the other room, throw himself on the floor and fake cry. Once in a while he will have real tears. When these things happen I take them in my arms and try to show them how to be sad without throwing a tantrum. Hyrum responds very well. I think Bria was able to get her way previously through crying because she is good at it. She cries almost all day with small breaks. I have never seen more tears. I think having so much stimulation and options is very new to them.

I have had a couple of people tell me they are worried that the kids might feel like they are just in another orphanage with all the children we have. I let that thought bother me for a few minutes but the more I reason it through I realize they have love and stimulation and are learning to create bonds. This family will be intact forever and the people at the orphanage will only be temporary. This family offers them education and a knowledge of who they are and why they are on earth. They will learn about their Savior Jesus Christ and be taught how to serve and love others. Bria and Hyrum now have the opportunity to learn how to be a mother and father and function as successful people. Yes we have a large family but these children are never without love and people who fight over who gets to hold them. (Wow, that was good therapy for me. I am going to have to come back and read this from time to time when I ask myself "what do I think I am doing".)

We will post some pictures tomorrow. Sorry there haven't been any. Life gets crazy when you get home and try to add the new children and find a new normal.

We're Home and Transitioning Well

2011-10-16T23:58:00.001-06:00

We finally made it home after being awake for 39 hours. Doug and I didn't sleep more than an hour and the kids were going on 4 hours of sleep. Bria was very emotional and cried at everything but Hyrum was his happy self and made friends with all the stewardesses and other waiting passengers.

While in the LA airport waiting Bria fell asleep. She woke up crying and Doug walked around trying to get her to calm down. It didn't work so we decided to walk to the next terminal. All of a sudden Doug felt something warm on his belly. Pretty soon he was wet all down the front of his pants and there was a puddle on the floor. It was so funny. He looked like he had wet his pants. We had the suitcases at this point so he was able to change his pants.

This morning when the kids woke up everyone was waiting at the door. The four of us slept utill about 10:00am after getting to sleep at 3:00am. It took no time at all for Bria and Hyrum to warm up to all the other children. They now want nothing to do with Mom and Dad. We have had to set down some rules that only mom and dad can do anything for them. If they want a drink, something to eat or be changed it will be our job. Hopefully this is enough to create the attachment necessary. Both children are in heaven exploring things and finding out about their new life.

Now that it is two days later, there is a little more to say.

We went to church today intending on staying just for Sacrament meeting. The kids did so well that we decided to see how they would do for the next two hours. They did good but by the time we got home I could tell that they were feeling a bit overwhelmed. Bria surprisingly chose me as her support for the main part of the afternoon. By dinner she was back in Creed's arms until bed time. Doug took a small turn but that was it. Hyrum is being very much a two year old. We are getting a lot of tantrums. Nothing big but he is sure to let us know when he wants something. I haven't been able to get him to let me hold him without a fight unless he is dead tired. I think he is loving the newness of it all but is highly emotional as well. I give it a couple of days until his emotional crash and he needs mom or dad. This is quite a change from the little boy that wouldn't leave my side for the last 2 weeks even to take a shower and use the bathroom. He was right there at the door saying hi and sticking his fingers in until I came out. I want that little boy back. He needs to keep doing this.

I am calling the social worker tomorrow to get our post placement done for all 3 kids this week. Tuesday marks our 6 months for Olivia. We are all anxious to get this legal and official. I am hoping that we can get a court date for the beginning of November but no later than the middle of the month. Doing all 3 post placements at once will save us some money which will be a good thing right about now.

I worried about how Olivia would do while we were gone. I didn't know if she would back track or even what to expect. Since we have gotten home she openly and often tells us that she loves us and missed us. She wants lots of hugs and is truly happy. She has a sparkle in her eye and I can tell she is feeling more secure. What a blessing for her and us. I can say that I really did miss her and now I feel an even greater love and normalcy with her than before we left. I do believe the counsel that some professionals give in that the newest adopted child will feel more intact in the family when a new child takes their place by birth or adoption. A little disclaimer, I know it doesn't always work but we were blessed this time. Olivia's adoption has really been the dream experience. I give full credit to our Father in Heaven and the sweet spirit of a special little girl.

Father in Heaven does watch over us and guide our path. It has been hard for me to trust that at times but I can no longer deny He is there in all things. I know I will get impatient still and lose faith here and there but I am grateful for this testimony that I have to rely on. Life is ever changing even still and we could be filled with great confusion and concern over certain aspects of life but we are not. This is not because we are strong or good but because the Spirit whispered it is all in the Lord's hands and we need only take life one step at a time. I have decided to give in to this and just have faith. There will always be something that can cause challenges but I don't want to live in fear anymore. We want to live as some friends of ours do, with the attitude that "everything is great" as they lose their house and all they posses. I choose to try and be more like that.

I just need to close this post expressing my love for my Father in Heaven. I feel more inadequate today than ever before. I have more responsibility to our Father and many of his children and hope that I can live up to the opportunities given to me. With this I also know that my Father loves me and will not let me fall too hard. He loves my children more than me and will inspire my thoughts and support my righteous actions. With all my heart I want to live worthy to see him again some day and have him say "Well done thou good and faithful servant"

We're Coming Home

2011-10-12T09:22:00.000-06:00

As unreal as it seemed that we were leaving for China a few weeks ago, it now seems unreal that we are actually coming home. This has been quite a journey - geographically and emotionally. For our last meal in China we opted for Pizza Hut. Before coming to China, we were very anxious to try authentic Chinese quisine. Now that we have been here, we are quite content with the Americanized Chinese quisine. Monday we went to a restaurant called "O, La La". Kind of funny since Chinese people can't pronounce "L" very well. We asked our guide to tell us the name of the restaurant and she pronounced it very well. Nothing like the O, Ra Ra we could have expected. The menu was full of weird stuff - pig lung, turtle, chicken platters with everything but the cluck, eel, pigs feet, cow tongue, turtle, etc. We wanted to buy a menu from them just to bring home.  After looking at the menu, Deanne and I both thought we would be stopping by McDonalds on the way back to the hotel, but Ann did very well ordering for us and we had a great meal. There were some very soft steamed rolls that we dipped in carmelized sweetened condensed milk - that was yummy.  Another family with us ordered the local micro brewed beer - Pearl River. Yes, this is also where the Pearl River pianos are made. Anyway, we ran out of Sprite and Bria wanted more. I reached for the beer bottle and said I will give her some of that, assuring everyone that it was OK since she wasn't Mormon yet. That got a good laugh from the other Christian friends there.

We went to the circus last night. That really was an amazing circus - nothing like we had ever seen before. And most definitely nothing like Hyrum and Bria had ever seen before. They were on overload about 15 minutes before it ended. I had to take Bria out to watch the last act from the top of the arena. It was guy getting shot out of a cannon and the noise from the cannon put Hyrum over the top and Deanne came up with him right after that. We took a shuttle bus back to the subway station and made it back to the hotel around 10:30.  Everyone was wiped out - we let the kids sleep as long as they wanted and they finally stirred around 9:30. We missed the buffet breakfast in the hotel so we settled for instant oatmeal in the room.

The 3 families in our group took taxis to a book store this morning. We met a guy named River (his self assigned English name) who wants to be a Christian and wants us to meet his Christian friends here from America.  He emailed us by the time we got back to our room so we emailed him the link to the Chinese version of LDS.org and told him he would learn more about the gospel on that site.  He seems very anxious to soak up whatever he can about Christianity, as a growing number of Chinese people are, so we'll keep in contact with him and see where it leads.

We packed our suitcases this afternoon. Ann dropped of the visas for the children around 5:00. We took a walk to a nearby park - we had seen part of it, but didn't have the camera last time we were there, so we wanted to go back with the camera before we left.   Walking around the park worked up the appetite for Pizza Hut.

We are all ready to go with 4 suitcases, each weighing 49 lbs.; 3 carry-ons with vital adoption paperwork to verify in customs that we are not smuggling the kids from China, enough snacks, kids books, games and diapers for almost 30 hours of travel and layovers.

Bathtime has changed in the last couple of weeks. It took me 5 minutes to get him used to the idea the first time. Now you can see he has overcome his fear.

The splashing was pretty intense. I am sure that will be a hard habit to break them of at home. Oops.

Circus. These two were about 50 feet in the air with no net or wires.

Elephant jump rope.

This guy was about 80 feet in the air running and jumping on the outside of these wheels with no net or wires as they were spinning . A certified lunatic.

In front of the circus, obviously, can't you read the writing?

Another lunatic going under and horse at full speed.

A walk in the park with the much appreciated front pack.

More lunatics riding motorcycles in the wire sphere.

More lunatics waiting for the shuttle to go to the circus. If you saw how the shuttle bus drivers drive those buses, you would agree with me that these are lunatics.

Sea food restaurant. Or should I say, "see" food restuarant. You can find your own Nemo and have the cooks fry him up while you wait. Doesn't get much fresher than that!

Mom and Hyrum outside the US Consulate after final visa approval. He and Bria are officially approved to travel to the US, however, he didn't seem too thrilled about it at that moment.

Hyrum and Bria trying out their new "squeaky shoes". They normally want us to carry them through the lobby of the hotel, but not when they can annoy everyone within earshot of these noise makers. Do you know how loud these sound in a 3 story lobby with granite floors and walls?

Like we needed one more reason to call attention to ouselves...

TB and Shopping

2011-10-10T08:36:00.000-06:00

You ask how TB and shopping go together. Well, in the adoption world passing the TB test is a must to immigrate to the US. If you fail then a chest x-ray is done and medicine is administered. It just so happens that on the island where the test is given there is also some good shopping. We went early this morning to read the results of the TB test on the children. All is well and we will be coming home. Yippeeee!!

After we got done at the Medical Clinic we were taken to a government run store. At these stores the guides get commission on all sales they generate. Not only that the prices are very high. We bought a couple of things and got out of there. As stated by one of our group the sales people are worse than car salesmen. They breath down your neck and insist on you buying things. When you say no they act as though you have just offended them. They have many reasons why you must buy an item. It was ridiculous. We were very glad to get out of there.

We then went back to the island to sight see and do more shopping. Funny thing, when we went to our first store we saw some of the same items for much less money. Many people talk about Jordan's and rave about him. I have now joined the Jordan fan club. This guy was so nice. He is someone that we could easily be friends with. He is very welcoming and warm. He also writes your children's names in Chinese characters and English. For those that want to shop there but don't know how to find him that's OK. All the stores are named the name of the owner. You will see Jordan's easily or you could ask your guide. They all know him.

As we were checking out Doug asked if a suite case was OK to buy. I said sure I trusted his decision. Jordan thought that was great that we had that much respect for each other. He also said he was blessed then quickly followed it up with the clarification that he was Christian and that's why he used the term blessed. I quickly added we were Christian too. Through the conversation he told us that he liked how grateful I was and the people in Guangzhou like that. I guess most people aren't very grateful around here. Doug and I discussed that once how no one seems truly grateful for things. A simple gesture is just expected and an insincere thank you is given.

After walking around the island and more shopping we found our way to the Metro. We had to walk down a street with all kinds of dried things. We had no idea what they were but they didn't smell so good. We did recognize a few things like the sea horses, snakes, huge mushrooms and ginger. We were told that was the medicine market. I wonder what the sea horses are for.

Tomorrow we will be going to the consulate to finish up the paperwork. We are almost done and ready to come home. Wednesday we will pick up the kids Visas and pack to leave the next morning. We still have several things we want to do and see but won't be able to fit it all in. As the kids are getting more used to us they are also getting more squirmy and less patient so that will eliminate some of our activity options. It will be a fun busy time.

Both kids showed great progress today. Bria is more emotional which is a good thing for her but with that she is also letting Mom Hug and kiss her more. We bought her some squeaky shoes and she has been in heaven. She loves her new shoes and runs around just to hear the sound. I let her pick them herself and she wanted pink. It's a good thing that I happened to buy her mostly pink clothes on accident. I guess I love pink too. We also bought Hyrum some squeaky shoes to grow into. At first he didn't want to try them on. He later tried to put on Bria's which became a problem real quick so I got his out and showed him they squeak. He plopped down on the floor and stuck his foot out to wear his shoes too. They both ran around the room squeaking. It was so fun to watch them. Hyrum is doing a little better today. He needed me to lay with him to go to sleep and he laid on top of me and went right to sleep. That was a first. He has wanted to do that but couldn't get comfortable. Tonight he was at peace. Bria also let me hug and kiss her for bed but went right back to dad. It was amazing the difference in her today. I think we are starting to see out little girl come through at moments. She was truly happy at one point today and could see and feel the true emotion.

The kids asked to hear something funny so here goes. I got poked in the eye! Normally that is not funny but it was Hyrum's hair. His hair sticks straight out and is stiff. I was holding him on my lap and turned the other direction when his hair poked me in the eye. It took several hours to quite hurting and is still irritated when I get tired. He also hit me in my very broken nose twice now. Dad said every child has to break my nose at least once. I hope we can avoid that and have Olivia and Bria miss out on the experience.

A very welcomed all-American meal. The shake was a little weak, but not bad.

Bria's first taste of ice cream.

The old standby of apple juice.

Hyrum ready for his first taste of ice cream.

Not sure what to think of it....

Giving mom the evil eye and wondering what she just put in his mouth...

Hyrum hauling around our new suitecase we bought to haul around our new stuff and

haul it back to the US.

The gang at Lucy's Restaurant on Shamian Island.

Mom with our guide, Ann.

Hyrum making some freinds at the playground.

School children on Shamian Island.

Very pretty (and expensive) porcelain. Some of it was handpainted by a lady we watched right there in the shop.

This artist did some awesome finger paintings - we had to buy a couple.

Yes - these are seahorses.

...and more seahorses.

And dried snakes. This was part of the medicine market. It had loads and loads of all kinds of dried stuff that is used to make medicine. No thanks. I'll take a pill.

Quiet Day

2011-10-09T07:47:00.000-06:00

Today was a quiet day. The Branch here in Guangzhou had their conference weekend so we spent some time watching conference. We tried last week but had a lot of problems with the streaming. It took about 2 hours to watch 2 talks. They were great talks but it loses some of the impact while you anxiously wait for the next 10 words. Today was great. We had a rough start but were able eventually to watch a whole session without any problems. I can't say enough how much I love conference. It is my boost and reminder of why I do what I do. Today I was reminded again the importance of choosing the Lord's way and the happiness it will bring.

We got a few very cute pictures of the kids. We saw some very good progress with Bria. She began to try and interact with me and teased me several times. At bed time we had prayer and they both were very quite. I think they know what it is and the importance of talking with our Father in Heaven. We laid them both down and I kissed Hyrum all over the face. After a minute he grabbed both of my cheeks with his little hands and looked me in the eye with a big smile. He was connecting and giving love. I next went over to Bria to say goodnight. I hesitated to give her a kiss but decided to test the waters. I kissed her and she giggled so I kissed her all over the face like Olivia taught me was important. (Thank you sweetheart for preparing me) She started to laugh and laugh. That is a huge step for this sweet little girl. Everyone please keep praying for both of the children.

We walked around a while showing a new couple where to eat and get snacks. We wandered over to a park that I recognize from other families blogs. It was amazing how beautiful and big it was. We didn't bring the camera because we didn't think there would be anything to take pictures of so we are hoping to go back and spend more time there.

After getting back our guide Ann called about the morning plans. She asked what we did and Doug told her we played tour guide. She was amazed at how much we are doing on our own. She said we are the most adventurous family she has ever seen. Usually families are too afraid and tired to go out on their own. She was glad that we have an interest in her city. She said we are making her job easy because we took the new family on a tour so they would know their way around. It's nice to hear that we are making someones job easy. I don't think the people at our agency would have felt that a month ago. :) We have found out though why they were so busy and couldn't give us all the attention we would like to have gotten. They have two families here right now that are adopting children that are aging out. When this happens they have to pick up the child before their 14th birthday or are ineligible for international adoption by China law. These families will always take priority, understandably.

OK, here are the cute pictures.

Do they look like brother and sister, or what?

Bria already trying to follow in mommy's foosteps.

Hryum following in mommy's footsteps too???

Hyrum wrestled Bria to the ground when she teased him about taking his newly found blanket.

Bria taunting Hyrum to come give her some more. Bring it on!

When he didn't jump on her, she came laughing and looking for a fight....and got laughs....

The sincere smiles are coming more often for Bria as the days go by.

Orphanage visit

2011-10-08T09:43:00.000-06:00

Today we went to the orphanage that Hyrum has been in since birth. It is located in Foshan City which is about an hour and a half from where we are in Guangzhou. Most of the drive was city but just before we got to Gaoming there was a very poor area where people lived in little shacks. As we drove closer to the city Doug turned to me and handed me the camera and said "Take a picture of the nuclear reactor." I turned in shock and right next to us was a towering reactor. The road was right next to the stacks. It was so close I couldn't even get a good picture.

As we drove up to the building one of the staff met us out front. Within a minute of being there the second woman met up with us. The first lady put her arms out to Hyrum and he hesitantly went to her. I was a little concerned about that but couldn't really do anything. I just followed him and put my hand on his back as reassurance, when I could reach him.

The two women took us up to the office and answered some questions we had. We found out that Hyrum was close to another little girl that was adopted a few months ago. They said that after she left he was sad for quite a while and would ask about her often. When he saw one of her clothes he would always say it was his friends. They graciously gave him a picture of her to take home. We are hoping to be able to contact the family so the children can stay in touch. We were also told that he was a favorite of everyone including the children. He is a happy, easy going and very helpful little boy. He also kept the children in line. I have noticed all these qualities in him already. It was so good to see how much they loved him and hear what he is like.

We then were taken on a tour. The way they said tour I was under the impression that it was fairly large. When we went in we discovered that the kids are kept on the 4th floor in two rooms that are divided by a set of large glass doors. Basically it was one big room. The whole section the kids were in couldn't have been any bigger than our family room, kitchen and school room. This is where they lived from birth with one nanny at a time and up to 20 children all with special needs. Right now there are 16 kids but 10-12 are in what is called the baby room. I don't know how old the kids are when they leave this baby room but they must stay until they are at least 4.

While in this room the nanny was there with the other children. Hyrum didn't give her the time of day. All the children were sleeping when we came in so we tried to be quiet. Just like kids they all woke up right after we walked in even though we were quiet. What we saw was what I suspected, the children sleep on bare wood with a blanket over them. One child stood up and there was a wet spot on the wood where she drooled. It was so sad to see. I guess I know why the kids like to sleep on the floor for now. As the children got up the nanny showed us which crib was Hyrum's. They already put another child in it. She told him it was time to go to bed and he said "No No". She laughed and told him again. He was insistent that he was not getting in the bed. At this point I figured I needed to give him some support and picked him up. We stood there and talked a bit more and one of the women took out Hyrum's blanket and told him it was time for bed. He grabbed the blanket and held on for dear life. I held him tighter and whispered in his ear so he knew I was there to take care of him. The women talked with the guide for a minute or so and then offered for Hyrum to take his blanket if I was OK with that. Of course, I was. They apologized for it being so old and were embarrassed about it and said that was the blanket that he has requested every night since he was a baby. This is not just an old blanket but a tattered old towel. We were very grateful for this treasure.

The women next asked him if he wanted to go play. At that he started to frown that turned into an upset cry. I knew it was time to get him out of there. He had enough and needed to leave. Doug quickly guided us out and we said our good byes. When we got in the car he was very sullen and sad. He sat quietly on my lap and held his blanket tight. After a time we needed to try and pull him out of it so Doug broke out the M&M's. That helped some but he was not himself the rest of the day.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon in the hotel room laying on the bed and playing a little. We went to get some dinner and he ate fairly well but had to have his blanket with him at all times. He put it on my lap while he ate but as soon as he was done it got tucked next to him in his chair. After getting back to the room he had me hold him without getting down. We don't know what sparked it but he started to sob. He cried so hard and couldn't stop. He was so sad! It took quiet a while for him to calm down. I held him until he fell asleep. It has been a hard day for him and us. It was difficult to see such a happy sweet boy feel such pain.

The orphanage staff workers getting a kiss from my sweet little boy.

Bria playing on the slide at the orphanage.

Bria loved this little toy. We may have to get one.

This was Hyrum's crib. Exactly as the little girl left it when she woke up from her nap. Not even a blanket.

Hyrum right after they gave him his blanket. He is starting to melt down.

This is the first place we visited. We were in the office of the SWI.

He started out happy and fun.

The scene front he doors of the orphanage. The play equipment is a school next door.

In front of the orphanage with the two women that were in charge some how.

My sad little boy on the way back to the hotel.

Medical Exam

2011-10-08T08:38:00.000-06:00

It was a pretty big day today. We started with the passport photos and medical exams at 8:00 AM. That took about 2 hours. It all went really well until the TB test - they used a needle to inject the test syrum instead of the quick and easy pokey thing they use in the US. We didn't prepare Bria for it and she screamed and couldn't figure out what just happened. We were so sad. Hyrum handled it much better since Deanne prepared him a little more for it and held him really tight before the needle poke.

After checking out Bria, the doctor told us that she had club foot like it was the first time we knew about it. He felt a little embarrassed when Ann told him we already knew everything about her condition. He was a very nice man and really checked out the kids pretty well. They examined the kids in three different rooms - Height and Weight, ENT, and a basic physical exam. They have the health clearance to leave the country as long as the TB test comes back negative on Monday. There is no bump so far so they should be good to go.

Height and Weight check for Bria.

Toe exam. Her left foot has more deformed toes than her club foot. We will learn a lot more after we have Shriners take a look at her.

The main doctor had to bring her back to have the other doctors watch her walk.

A cute boy at the door of the exam waiting room.

Deanne and Rob by the outside door.

Experimenting at Home

2011-10-07T11:04:00.001-06:00

Some days tend to be full of experimenting and hands on learning. The kitchen has constantly been sprinkled with several different ongoing experiments and then the equipment for several others. The convenient thing is a few of the kids are doing the same lessons so they can do the experiments together.

Our cousin Dalin unexpectedly stopped by the other day. Some how it came up that he needed a hair cut and he bravely let the kids do it for him.

Melting patrollium Jelly at different distances from the light.

Growing mold and plants so we can later test acid rain

Another mold experiment. One tests dark and light the other test warm and cold.

The food coloring is climbing up the celery. I think it's pretty cool.

Just being silly

We were learning about photography one day so I pulled out both my digital SLR and my dad's old film SLR. The kids loved seeing the inside of a camera and trying out what they thought was an ancient camera. This sure did make me miss my days in high school when I would spend several hours in the dark room.

After having fun with the film camera which had no film Casey and Pierce wanted to experiment with the digital one. Here are a few from their photo shoot:

General Conference

2011-10-07T11:02:00.000-06:00

Everyone in this house looks forward to conference weekend. It's like another holiday. When we found out mom and dad would be gone for conference everyone was disappointed

they would be missing out. I think most of the kids were more concerned about missing out on mom's traditional conference cinnamon rolls than they were about missing mom and dad ;). My sister Ressa and I did make sure to make them but unfortunately we didn't put enough sugar so they weren't quite as good as mom's.

These kids wanted to watch all four sessions of conference. It was pretty great.

Throwing a football between Saturday sessions.

Taking turns doing tricks on the trampoline.

With bingo cards and a full cup of candy we are ready for the Sunday morning session.

Playing games between Sunday sessions. This is what she had to do win the game "Would you Rather"

The highlight of any day: Skyping with my parents

A Change Of Plans

2011-10-07T08:01:00.004-06:00

Today we went to the Safari Park. Like everyone said, it really is good. This place is every bit as good as an amusement park in the US. It is geared toward the whole family and is centered around animals of the wild. First we boarded a train on wheels. We drove around part of the park for about 40 minutes and saw all kinds of animals up close. Hyrum and my favorite part was the Africa section. We had laughing zebra, giraffe and many other animals from Africa within 5-10 feet from us. It was so fun to see these animals up close. It really fueled my desire to go on an African Safari. I won't be picking up any children on that vacation. :) After the train tour we walked around and saw a lot of other animals. It was amazing to see so many of these animals and I am not a zoo lover. They have a section with babies of all sorts. They were so cute but I was holding my almost 4 year old son that acts like he is 2 and felt so sad for these babies and wondered if they struggle in similar ways as the poor children without a mommy. It kind of took some of the fun away.

Bria had another emotional day. She started out at breakfast with trying to control things and big bad mom wouldn't allow that. We had a battle of wills. Of course I won! She doesn't know yet that I was born and Wills. (That bad joke is for Dad). When she finally gave up she burst into tears. We had that scenario a couple of times today. This test if wills is always with mom for some reason. Bria prefers dad and for the moment and that is fine by me.

Hyrum is doing well. He was a little off today and seemed to get sad off and on but when we got to the room he did well. When Bria cries he watches intently and at times will rub her back to sooth her. He is getting used to kisses but still turns away most of the time. I have been giving him bear hugs (kids you know what those are for) but he resists them. I won't even go there with Bria at this point. Hyrum has still had a hard time sleeping and I have had to hold him to get him to go to sleep without crying. He sleeps restlessly and has woken up each night. Last night I woke up to some fussing and he was standing next to the bed on my side with his blanket in hand. I picked him up and put him next to me. He quickly fell asleep and slept well. That is the first time that he has slept next to me and been at ease. Great progress! Bria prefers the floor still. If that is the case when we get home then she will have a bed in our room on her own but still close. Somehow we have to break through her hard shell and get to the tender part of her heart. It is sad to see a 3 year old that is closed up and all feelings are staged and fake. That is way too young to be doing that. No child should have to feel that way.

OK, for the change of plans. We were supposed to go to the orphanage for Hyrum on Monday but found out today that the schedule has been changed. We will be going tomorrow. I am a little nervous for Hyrum. I have no idea how he will react. Hopefully it will not cause any problems for him. I'm not too afraid that he will want to stay. He has been doing well with attachments but it may set him back emotionally some. I guess we will see tomorrow what he does. We will be bringing gifts for the Aiyas and some suckers for the children. We also have the medicals tomorrow morning. The kids will get a simple exam that seems very useless to me. We are supposed to bring their medical info that we were given so the doctors can write down what is in there for the consulate so that it matches the info that was originally sent. I thought the exam was to have a second person confirm the health of the child to make sure there was no hidden issues. So much of the adoption process is a joke. We will also get TB tests and go back on Monday to get those checked. It will be a busy time now until we go home. The time is going by so fast and yet at times so slow.

Today we had to have some comfort food. We went to Pizza Hut. My family knows that I don't like pizza so well but this was good pizza even if we were in the states. I think food is going to be an issue for a little while for the kids. They tend to be pretty picky and pizza is not something they like. I am going to have to have rice and noodles available at all times. Casey will love that, he loves top ramen. It's a good thing that I stocked up when they were on sale. I just wish I had bought more.

Have fun with the pictures. They take a long time to post.

Hyrum is doing his best monkey immitation....the problem is we hadn't seen the monkeys yet....

He's pretending to be mad. He has to try hard at that.

I couldn't pull the stick away until the last little bit of popcycle was gone.

Baby monkey doing his best Hyrum immitation.

I think the tiger is looking at the glare coming off the top of my head.

She knows her way around a popcycle. Not sure how many of those she has had in her life.

The whiter tigers are really cool.

Getting up close and personal with the giraffes.

Panda are pretty darn lazy. Kinda like Po from Kung Fu Panda.

Proud papa!

Bria is not quite as expressive as Hyrum is. This look on her face is pretty typical.

Proud mama!

"Al....Al.....Allen!"

We were informed that we got the quote wrong. Here goes,

"You know me lads, I can't wee with an audience."

"...Why the long face?" Ha, Ha,!!!............

"Yeah, I know I'm cute!"

Shopping

2011-10-06T08:27:00.000-06:00

We ventured out into the crazy world resulting from the vast Chinese manufacturing empire. We found out that pens that cost $2-3 in the US can be had for 15 cents. Pearl necklaces are about 1/3 the price they are at Zales. Beads, toys, and even training chopsticks are a deal if you go to the right places so we hired a shopping guide for our adventure. She of course took us to the places where she would also earn a commission on top of the $10 per hour we paid her, but we went to the "wholesale markets" where we would not have had the courage to go on our own. We still felt she was worth the money. The only thing we didn't realize is that she kind of has an emotional time limit or maximum patience level. She started getting pretty impatient and more hurried as we went past the 2 hour mark. We had to hustle through the last couple of stores and didn't get to really look around or think about what else we needed. We kept her out almost 4 hours and she sent us on our way in a taxi by ourselves to come back to the hotel. She obviously hasn't spent much time with adoptive couples who have 14 other children to shop for. We are going to the Safari Park tomorrow morning with our regular guide who has been very attentive to our needs, and she offered to take us shopping after the safari park, so that will give us a chance to finish things up.

Tonight we went to a local family's home for dinner. We are here with another adoptive family this week, Rob Fleenor is here picking up two girls. Unfortunately his wife, Shawnee, couldn't make it with him. They know some friends who run a Christian school here in Guangzhou so they invited us to dinner. It was a great time - they were very gracious hosts and we enjoyed the best food we've had in China so far. Brian is from Tennessee and Maria is from China.

Bria got a little more emotional today - we take that as a good sign. She has been pretty much a rock with not much crying. But today she had quite a few tears and looked to us for comfort. Her bonding process is taking a little longer than Hyrum's so far, but we think she is took a big step today. Hyrum is pretty attached to Deanne. Even though we are excited about that, I am a little jealous since he attached to me first. I guess she needs her turn and eventually things will even out. One thing that prooves that he still needs us both is when Deanne and I got separated in the subway the day before yesterday. She had Hyrum in her front pack and I had Bria. She made it into train car just as the doors were closing and I had visions of my backpack getting stuck in the door as I squished in after her, so I stepped back and let the doors close and waited for the next train. Hyrum saw me stay there and he screamed the whole time until I showed up at the next station. Fortunately there are only about 3 minutes between trains. He seems to have a good attachment to both of us for different reasons right now. Bria seems to favor me a little, but that's just because Hyrum is more attached to Deanne and he takes more of her attention. This week has been really good for bonding and the next week will give us more insight as to what is needed after we bring them home. This will definitely be a family effort.

Deanne being fitting for a pearl necklace. Yes - those bags on the shelves are full of pearls. We have never seen so many pearls in one place and there are many stores just like this one in that market.

The indoor shopping area.

An outdoor shopping area - not quite as nice as the first.

We had to wait for a couple of items to be delivered to one of the shops. This was the delivery truck.

This cute little girl said hello in English when she walked by. I tried to get her to stop for a picture but she kept walking.

Hyrum and Bri watching the window washing action from our hotel window.

I don't know what these guys get paid to hang a few hundred feet in the air, but it's probably not enough.

A Rolls Royce showed up at the hotel entrance as we were leaving today. We think it was a bride and groom - the bride is in the colorful dress.

This would qualify for the HOV lane.

Cutie!

Another funny translation. "Troublemakers" beware!

These are 2 one-car garages. They are actually about 1/2 car garages - there is no way to get in both sides of the car.

Maria and her cook making us dinner at Maria's home.

Hyrum and Bria seeing Grandma and Grandpa for the first time!

More Cultural Explosion

2011-10-04T09:48:00.000-06:00

Cultural Explosion

2011-10-04T09:23:00.000-06:00

We had a great experience today with a day in the life of China. This week is a holiday week commemorating the new government? It is equivalent to our Independence Day. We decided to go to a walking mall called Beijing Street. I have never seen so many people at one time, even on conference weekend in Salt Lake City. There was a sea of people. Let me back up a minute. The best way to get there was on the Metro or subway. We were warned it would be very crowded and sure enough it was. We bought our tokens and figured out the route we needed. It was fun to be independent and free to go where we wanted to go. We are told that most first time visitors to China won't go on the Metro but I highly recommend it. It is fairly easy and a good way to get around. We took a trip to Beijing Street then spent a few minutes at the People's Park before going back to the hotel. It was so fun to see all the people in the activities of their choice. We were in awe and had so much fun. I think the two things that were the most out of the ordinary in the US were the dancing and a woman leading park attendees in singing. We wouldn't see things like that back home.

The kids do so well when we are out that we really could spend all day sightseeing without a peep from either child.

Photos

2011-10-02T21:40:00.001-06:00

Our kids think blog posts that are all words are boring. So here is one that is almost entirely photos. Pictures say 1,000 words so here are 18,000 words.

Mom doesn't even get private bathroom time in the hotel!! Hyrum and Bria would not leave her alone, just like home.

Hyrum loves washing his hands - it's probably that he likes to play in it.

Potty time for Bria turned into tickle time from Hyrum.

Bria just being cute. That's easy for her.

Bria helping Hyrum dry his hands. It's hard to think of her being a year younger that him. She is more advanced in many ways than she is.

Bria drinking a sweet milk. That stuff is like runny sweetened condensed milk.

A good sign that she is attaching to us.

Slide at the hotel play area. We think they will really enjoy the one we just put up at home.

After eating oranges and getting juice all over the table the kids took it upon themselves to wash the table. They were running to and from the bathroom getting the wipes wet with the tub faucet having a blast.

Bria at full speed....

Hyrum at full speed...

Their clothes were soaked.

Mom with her two new children in front of the waterfall at

The Garden Hotel.

It took him one time down the slide to figure out that he liked it - then it was pure love.

Hyrum just being cute. That's easy for him.

The knot on Hyrum's head after taking a tumble on the slide. We took an oath from the government of China that we would not abuse or abandon the children. It didn't take very long to break the first part of that oath.

Just an example of the funny translations on signs. We think they want us to stay out of the water fountains.

Nap Time

2011-10-02T01:39:00.001-06:00

Well after a night like last night we decided that we needed to get the kids back on a schedule. Friday night threw the kids off schedule. I didn't get into Guangzhou until 9:40 so after getting back from the airport it took us several hours to calm down. We spent some time getting to know each other and Hyrum had taken a 3 hour nap late in the day. Now, Doug being a great dad thought that would be good for Hyrum since he would be up a little later than normal. The one thing he didn't know is that if a child sleeps for 3 hours and doesn't wake up until 5:00pm they are not going to sleep until late into the night. At 1:00am Hyrum finally conked out. It took putting him on the floor with a pillow and blanket to calm down. I think mom being in his bed was hard on him. I had rudely come in and invaded his space and he couldn't relax with me there. Bria on the other hand fell asleep in about one minute and was out for the night.

Last night we kept the kids up so we could Skype with home. They had not seen Bria yet so we hoped she could make it until 9:30. By 10:00 she was done and wanted to go to bed. She went right out. Hyrum took a little longer to go to sleep but woke up in the middle of the night crying. Of course mom is here so dad slept right through it and Hyrum and I had some good bonding time. After a while I took him back to bed and he wanted to lay on top of me. That was a great sign only he couldn't get comfortable so I had to lay him next to me. He didnt' sleep too well after that but when I got out of bed to shower he fell into a deep sleep. I don't know what that is about but Malia would do the same thing for me all the time. Mom didn't get any sleep but as soon as I had to get up Malia would sleep very sound for a couple hours. I really hope I don't have another child like that on my hands.

We needed to get the kids (Doug) down for a nap. We laid them on the bed with Doug on the edge, Hyrum closer to the middle and Bria next to him. I was going to lay on the other outside edge. As I started to climb on the bed Hyrum reached for me to lay by him. I laid down next to him and Bria scooted over to the edge of the bed as far as she could go so she could get as far away from me as possible. She eventually ended up with her head hanging over the edge of the bed so I had to hold onto her dress to keep her from falling off. When she went to sleep I moved her back on the bed. Bria is doing so much better in opening up to us but there is still a very long way to go. On the other hand I have a little boy that has only known me for less than 48 hours that wants me to sleep with him. It is so amazing to me how different the adoption experience is based on the personality of the child.

Both of these kids are so cute. It is good to have Doug here reminding me of how adorable Bria is. I realize how wounded I had been last week with all the emotional stress I was under. I never have blamed Bria and understood why she was behaving the way she did but it still hurt. She will still let that ornery side come through at times and it is all directed at me but most of the time she wants me and is pleasant and happy, or at least as happy as she can be under the circumstances. Hyrum constantly makes me giggle. I really think he is one of the cutest little boys around. Of course my other boys aren't around so I can say that.

We took the kids to walk around this really awesome hotel. However, if you stay here and have back problems, Doreen, do a lot of praying and bring an air mattress. I don't think there is a hotel in China with a soft bed. At least the Garden Hotel bed is a big step up from the Dolton. I might as well have slept on the floor and that is no exaggeration. Now back to what I was saying. On our walk we stopped at a little play set and let the kids slide. Bria has done this before and was excited to play but Hyrum had no idea what was going on. They climbed up the stairs and would go down the slide and run around over and over again. They laughed and giggled and squealed. They were really having fun. Hyrum couldn't seem to slide on the twisty slid so I had to push him a little and Doug would have to push him again half way down. The last time he went down I must have pushed too hard and he fell into the side of the slide and got a very large goose egg on his forehead. What a way to interrupt bonding. Your very new mother who is supposed to love, nurture and take care of you pushes you down the slide and you get hurt. I held him tight, one positive out of a bad situation, and was able to comfort him. We got back to the room and had to order up some ice to put on his head. The poor kid was having so much fun and I had to go and ruin it.

Now, as soon as the children (Doug) wake up from their 2 hour nap I will have him post some pictures of Hyrum's nasty goose egg. :(

Doug is now up and he asked if we should wake the kids up. He wanted to cover them and remembered our last experience with a long nap. :))

Back on the Home Front

2011-10-01T18:42:00.001-06:00

This is Sereen, the older daughter. My husband and I are here taking care of the kids while our parents are having their adventure in China. I posted a couple updates on my husband's and my blog of how things have been going here at home. Per my mom's request I am reposting those updates here for the rest of you who might be interested.

This is what I posted the evening of Wednesday, September 28th:

While my parents are off experiencing quite the adventure (picking up two children) in China, Jared and I are here having our own adventure. For three weeks we are the "parents" of ten children. They range from ages 15-5. Eight of them are home schooled. I'll admit I knew we could handle making sure the kids stay out of trouble and are fed but I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep the schedule going with school.

I am happy to say it has now been three days (of school) and things are going well. My mom hadn't had a chance to completely figure out the curriculum, due to many different complications, so we have had to be flexible. These kids are great. They have been so patient and willing to work hard. I discovered yesterday how to check up on their progress (most of their work is on the computer) and realized some of the children needed more direction. Today I said they would have to redo lessons and quizzes until they could pass with an 80%. Some of them had to redo it five times or more but not one of them complained. When I realized how many times they were repeating things I felt kind of bad and made sure to sit down and explain concepts to them and walk them through the quizzes. I love watching the learning processes. Even the children who don't think they're very smart truly do want to learn and will do what it takes with a little encouragement.

This really is a full time plus some job. Even though these kids have been well behaved and very helpful it is still tiring. We were up by 6:40 and I hadn't stopped to sit until about 45 minutes ago when I had to do some things on the computer. Yes, the house is a mess but I decided I should take some time to unwind and regroup so I can finish out the day with a genuine smile on my face. I know my mom will just say she does what she has to and that she's really not as amazing as people think she is but she's a hero in my eyes. I love you mom!

We're off to a good start and I am anxious to see what we can accomplish in the next couple weeks.

Now to rally the kids to make some dinner and clean this house.

Posted Thursday, September 29th:

We have tried to make every day fun so the kids don't miss mom and dad too much. So far it has worked. It's also convenient that they are good at playing together and so easy to please.

I didn't get pictures, but Monday night we took them to get ice cream from Macey's with a couple cousins and one of our aunts who is in town from California. I'm not sure why Jared and I have lived a minute away from there for several months and never knew they had the best soft serve ice cream cones for only 47 cents!

The following day three of the boys went to play with their cousins and I took the four girls and Pierce to the Gale Center. It's a museum of the history of South Jordan. It was such a fun place to play.

Putting on his hat to go through the mine.

Digging for gold nuggets and the random little balls of tin foil

That is a real Buffalo skin but the drum was way more exciting.

We had just finished our school work for the day but for some reason it's still fun to pretend.

Why is it that one of the first things they think of when in an old school room is punishing each other with the yard stick?

It was easy to submit to a whipping when Hannah had the stick but as soon as I grabbed he ran like a dog with his tale between his legs. I don't know why ;)

Unfortunately my camera died after this so I didn't get pictures of the grocery store, fishing, checkers, milking a cow, washing laundry, playing house, sack races, marbles, and jacks. (I'll have to get the girls some jacks.)

Here are a few pictures of a day of our actual school. Don't worry no beatings here.

It's been a day shy of a week and the kids have been great! Last night after they went to bed Jared and I set up all these prizes for them to pick from in the morning. Toys and treats are all you need to get kids to behave ;)

Or maybe it's this face that keeps them in line...

As much as I wanted to get upset with him for making a mess this was too funny and there is nothing better for a kid than playing with soap suds. I laughed, took a picture and then asked him to do the dishes. He happily did them all.

Playing with model airplanes.

All the kids playing "office" together. Well... except Pierce (the legs hanging off the chair) playing DS.

They even have things to decorate their desks. I love that she chose a picture of the Savior.

She is just too cute. Notice what picture she chose? Yes, that is a little picture of me. I don't think I'm vain, it just makes me feel good.

Tonight Creed is off to the High School football game and we just got back from renting Madagascar 2 for the kids to watch while Jared and I escape to go to the temple. Thank you Pierce for being willing to babysit.

Tale of Two Cities

2011-10-01T07:26:00.000-06:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. That is no joke! I'm, Deanne, finally back with my anchor and rock. How great it is to be here with Doug and Hyrum or as we call him right now Ming Gang.

I don't even know where to start. I think I will just give a quick overview of my experience since we left Salt Lake. I have become very good at waiting in strange airports. I should add up all the hours I sat in airports in the last week. I guarantee it was more than a full days time. Changsha is very different than Guangzhou. I had been told that Changsha is westernized but I beg to disagree. It is on the verge of thinking about being westernized. The closest thing to western is the hotel I was in. This hotel was comparable to a mid grade hotel in the states. It did have marble all over but so does everywhere I've been including the very filthy Civil Affairs Office and the railings in Guangzhou. It was just a normal hotel room. My guide was very busy with other things so I didn't get to do very much and what we did do was because our agency rep called to see how things were going and discovered my predicament and called the guide to have her take me somewhere. That somewhere was a park for an hour.

Now to Bria. That was hard, to say the least. We met her at the government office on Monday. That place was disgusting. Walking in smells very strong of urine and there was not a spot in the whole building that was clean. I don't think they can afford a janitor. They brought Bria in and she just stared. Now this is where I could say, like most adoptive parents, that I fell madly in love with her and she was so adorable, but I want to be honest here. Bria had a hard look on her face, the same one in all her pictures. I walked up to talk with her and she wanted nothing to do with me. I tried to ease her into things but eventually they handed her to me and she screamed. I don't mean cried hard I mean screamed!! After about 45 minutes of that our guide suggested we go back to the hotel to finish up the paperwork for the next day. When we walked outside she finally calmed down. She found herself a chair and claimed it as her own. For the first two days she would not get out of the chair except to go to the bathroom or when we left the room. In those two days we only left the room twice, once to try and get dinner but as soon as she saw a Chinese person she reached for him and started into a screaming fit again, this was on the second day. The other was for breakfast and I went down early enough that we were basically the only ones there. She did start to open up a little and play with me and she did giggle and laugh at times. Over the next few days things got a little better and she started to test me. I had to draw the line at one point and the daggers came out. This little girl knows how to give dirty looks! She rejected me over and over again. I spent most of the time with her trying to manipulate me to get her way or being mad at me. She really did not like me. On the plane I really wondered what I was doing bringing a little girl home that hated me. She was mad again because I couldn't let her take her seat belt off. She sat there and would either give me the evil eye or completely ignore me while hitting my hand or any body part that got too close to her. I was not doing very well and pleaded with Heavenly Father to change her heart and mine. I was prepared for this reaction but didn't expect it. It was so hard to go through with no support and cooped up in a hotel where no one speaks your language and you are not comfortable wandering around the city as a single woman with a Chinese little girl. It was very very hard!!!!!
When I got to Guangzhou I was asked what I thought of Changsha and the best way I could think of the describe it was, disgustingly dirty and chaos. Guangzhou and Doug picking up Hyrum compared with my experience was truly a Tale of Two Cities.

Things have gotten much better since being with Doug and Hyrum. Bria has made some great strides and looks to me as her primary care giver. I have not had one problem with her today and no dirty looks. I think being together as a family is doing something wonderful for her and Hyrum's sweet happy personality it bringing out the best in Bria. Hyrum has also really opened up and they are playing, laughing and screaming in happy tones together. They have been running after each other laughing from the bottom of their toes. It has been so good to be here and see the positive changes take place in all of us. Both children are doing well with the opposite parent and we can interchange caregiver already and it has been less than a day. I have seen miracles today and I am so grateful for the support of my Father in Heaven. He has been there the whole way through.

Shoes and slurbberts

2011-09-29T20:14:00.000-06:00

During the first couple of days of having Hyrum, he would always want his shoes on. I took them off when we got to the hotel room and he would have them back on within a few minutes. This would repeat itself 3-4 times a day. Finally I gave up and realized this is what he is used to - with the cold floors in the orphanage I am sure they had shoes on all day. Last night after a shopping trip we came back and I took my shoes off. He saw that and immediately took his off. We came back from breakfast and the same thing happened. He now runs around the hotel room without shoes. We can't underestimate the power of example in our childrens' behavior.

Another culture shock he will have to get used to....slurbberts. At least that's what we call them - not sure on the spelling and didn't bother googling it. (Lips on bare skin and expelling air like a trumpet player to cause massive vibrations which lead to convulsive laughter.) Last night after his bath I gave him a little slurbbert on his tummy. He furrowed his brow and had no idea what that was all about. A couple more times and he got used to the idea, but never cracked a smile. This morning while getting him dressed I made another attempt and this time it was successful. Big smiles and giggles.

It's Official!

2011-09-29T08:20:00.000-06:00

The Adoption Certificates are in hand for both Hyrum and Bria. The Walker family has two more children!! They are both doing great. The paperwork has gone very smoothly here. My biggest worry being without Deanne this week was the paperwork, but she had it all perfectly in order before arriving in China and the guide, Ann, has been very knowledgeable and told me exactly what was needed every step of the way. Deanne had a couple of snags on her paperwork. Nothing that was her fault, it turns out that this was the first adoption that orphanage has ever done and the director had to bring new paperwork 4 times. That delayed things almost a whole day. I was worried that she may have to stay in Changsha longer so I made her call the guide to double check everything last night and it looks like it is still on schedule. There was also a typhoon that went through Hong Kong today. There were some flights cancelled there and I was worried it may affect the airport here in Guangzhou. We got some of the rain, but nothing to disrupt flights. I don't want anything to get in the way of us getting back together tomorrow night.

Hyrum has been fantastic - very easy to manage with no tantrums and barely any fussing. He allows me to comfort him quickly whenever he does fuss. He had lots of smiles today when he was playing with a remote control car in the department store and he giggles constantly when I blow up a balloon and let it fly all over the room. He takes cover, but still laughs.

Bria seems to be taking a little longer to bond with Deanne and had a little melt down today, but overall is doing really well. Deanne will have to update the blog when she gets back to the computer this weekend. We put international texting on our ATT plan before we came. We get 50 texts each for $10 for the month. That has gotten us by during the days and I have called her hotel from mine every night. That is about $4 or $5 dollars for 30-45 minutes, but so worth it.

The safe situation was rectified quickly yesterday. The hotel ended up sending up a guy with a drill and he pretty much destroyed the safe to get it open. I took my things out of it and they hauled it away and replaced it with another one. I hope that doesn't show up on our bill at check out time...

I found out today that Hyrum is actually pretty proficient at chopsticks. I have included a picture of him taking care of a bowl of noodles with other photos from the adventures today.

Buddahs....duh

He's better than me with those sticks.

All dressed up for the finalization!

Dad and Hyrum after it was all done.

Our guide, Ann, holding Hyrum with the girls from another family we are traveling with.

Lunch with Ann, the kids, Rob (another bachelor this week) and our driver.

Doug and Rob with our kids at a museum.

The play area at the registry office.

More smiles from Hyrum.

The restaurant in the Garden Hotel. The hostess was worried that Rob and I were too tall for that table. She was right!

Example #5

2011-09-27T22:16:00.000-06:00

This should actually be a continuation of the Bank of China experience in the previous post. They just called me and told me they gave me 2 cents too much. I changed $2,500 - so 2 cents is pretty insignificant, but it was in my favor and they are a bank. If it was in their favor I would have just let it slide. They first asked if I could come back down to the bank and I said I would come before 2:00. They must have just read my blog post about how courteous everyone is here and decided to come to me instead. They just showed up at my door to save me the trip....see what I mean?

Progress and the Chinese experience so far...

2011-09-27T21:52:00.000-06:00

I spoke with Deanne last night and she wanted my to post the progress that Bria is making. We are still counting down the hours before we are back together. We figure we better make a switch with the kids when we are all together to even out the bonding process.

Bria got attached to a chair and sat there most of the first day. Deanne could only coax her out if she really, really wanted something else. She even woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed and went to the chair. Deanne pushed two chairs together and put a pillow down for her and she finished the night out there. Yesterday she was able to get her to stay out of the chair most of the day and she fell asleep while Deanne was holding her in the bed. During bath time, Deanne was stroking her with a warm wash cloth - when she stopped, Bria grabbed her hand and told her to keep doing it. Another sign of progress happened at a restaurant. One of the waitresses took her from Deanne just to hold her. The day before when Bria saw a Chinese person, she reached for them, so Deanne was nervous about her being held by this other lady.  But she was releived when Bria actually reached back for her! Wahoo!

The Chinese people have all been incredible - nice, polite, courteous, generous. They all seem to love the idea of Americans adopting their orphans. (that was a concern of ours)

Example #1. I was changing money today at the Bank of China and one man gave me his seat when he saw that I had a child with me. Another man didn't want to wait so he gave me his number he pulled earlier than mine - I was number 3031 and he had 3018. That saved me about 45 minutes and I was hoping no one else figured out how this American guy got to go to the window before them. (This example excludes the fact that the guy behind the window on Monday changed the exchange rate on me 1 minute after quoting me the rate, but before counting out the money. He apologized so I guess rules are rules and he was still very polite about it....it just cost me .47 cents.)

Example #2. I had my do not disturb light on outside the hotel room door all day on Monday. I had just slept there a few hours and was not going to have bedding or towels laundered and I can make my own bed, so what was the point. After returning from picking up Hyrum later that day I found a note under the door apologizing for not cleanding the room. They didn't say becuase some knucklehead left the light on all day. I then received a phone call from the front desk asking if they wanted me to clean the room. I told them there was no need. About 2 hours later I received a knock at the door and there were 3 representatives from the hotel making sure that everything was OK since the light was on all day.

Example #3. I had mentioned to our guide her in Guangzhou that Deanne was a little lonely in Changsha and her guide didn't seem to be as attentive as she was. Mysteriously a hotel employee, maybe a consierge, showed up at her door and explained that the purpose of her visit was to make sure everything was going well for the guests and that they are not "lonely".   The tip off.

Example #4. Every hotel employee, has been amazing. Every store clerk or restaurant hostess and servers have been fantastic. Granted, everyone we are exposed to is benefitting financially from us being here, but it all seems very sincere and from the heart.

The experience on the roads would tend to make you believe they are not so courteous in real life, but I think that is just how they drive.

PS - Did you know the safes in a hotel room can lock you out if you try the incorrect code too many times? Hyrum discovered that for me. The electronic gizmo the hotel staff has to reset the safe didn't work, so now I am waiting for the safe company to come out.

We have them!

2011-09-26T18:17:00.001-06:00

I called Deanne last night after all the dust settled to share our experiences. I feel guilty, but it appears that I had a much better day than she did. Bria cried for 45 minutes at the registry office, then settled down when they went outside. Deanne did what she could to make her feel comfortable at the hotel room, but Bria sat in a chair most of the time and wouldn't respond to tickling or playing of any kind. Deanne finally ventured out to try to get some lunch, but as soon as Bria saw a Chinese person she started crying and reached for them. It's hard for me to imagine any child not latching onto Deanne right away. Hopefully today goes better.

Hyrum cried for a few minutes after the handoff to me, but after a few treats and toys, he settled down and I actaully got a smile from him about 15 minutes into it. The care giver was there for about an hour, then wisely slipped out without saying goodbye to him. He didn't notice. As we were leaving he got a little fussy when he realized I was it for him. I pulled out the magic pills, jelly bellies, and he was good to go again. By the evening he was pretty comfortable with me. We went to dinner with Rob and his new girls and the guide, Ann. Besides dropping his ceramic bowl and shattering it on the floor, it was all uneventful for Hyrum and I.

He fell asleep while I was holding him on the bed and he slept most of the night. I fussed when I wasn't in the bed when he woke up, but I was immediately able to calm him down. So that was very good sign.

Breakfast was easy with more smiles and he ate a ton. Here are some pictures of my day. Deanne and I will get back together Friday and we will be able to put some pictures of Bria up. We are off for new adventures today.

We are in China!

2011-09-25T08:03:00.000-06:00

I will keep this short since we are running on about 3 hours of sleep in the last 50 hours. Deanne and I are in China, however, we are about 500 miles apart at the moment. She is picking up Bria in Changsha tomorrow morning at 10:00 and I am picking up Hyrum in Guangzhou tomorrow at 2:00. We will be reunited Friday night at 9:00 back here in Guangzhou. The flights went great - we had 45 mins to make our connection in Hong Kong and the airlines, Cathay Pacific, said it would be no problem and it wasn't. They sent an agent to meet us and escort us to the other flight. We went ahead of everyone else in security and felt like VIPs (for a few minutes anyway). It wasn't very fun sending Deanne away to another city after being here less than an hour, but it's what we had to do to make this happen this week.
We can't wait to get back together, so we hope this week goes fast.

I got settled in the hotel room, took a 3 hours nap and went to dinner (an authentic mexican place!)with the father of another family who is adopting 2 children also. He is here without his wife, so between the two of us "bachelors", we will be navigating this in-country adoption process that our wives know much more about, while trying to also navigate new relationships with our new children - a process they also know much more about. Heavenly Father new what he was doing when he gave women the larger assignment in the family building businsess.

Deanne at the Cathay Pacific ticket counter in LAX. Is she happy to be on our way, or what?

We're not in Utah anymore...

Roughing it in China!

Roughing it....again....

From the hotel window. 14th floor.

Just before touchdown from the camera monitor on the seats. Pretty cool...but I know...its a guy thing.

Adoption is Wonderful

2011-09-18T20:35:00.000-06:00

In a previous post I expressed that I wouldn't want to wish this experience on my worst enemy. After rereading that post I realized how that made adoption from china sound. That was not my intention and I don't want to scare anyone away. China is no more difficult of time consuming than any other international adoption. Our experience has been very out of the ordinary, wrought with challenges along the road. We not only had problems with the adoption process but in most other areas of our life. This was the path the Lord chose to give us growth.

If anyone is considering adoption please understand that most families have the normal roller coaster of emotions and challenges but it is not as difficult as ours has been.

There are many children in need of families and it will all be worth it, even in our situation.

Reality is setting in.

2011-09-18T15:27:00.001-06:00

The reality of going to China is finally starting to set in. I walked into my bedroom today and walked right into the suitcases sitting in the middle of the floor. It struck me that I am finally going to get my children. My 7 year wait is almost over! I started to feel that little flutter in my stomach and I realized that I was beginning to feel the excitement. What a good feeling that is. I still have some concerns that something will go wrong but I am giving in more and more to faith. It is so nice to begin to feel peace again.

We will be getting our itinerary on Tuesday at the latest. I do know that we can visit Hyrum's orphanage. I told Doug he can't go without me!! I don't want to miss that experience. Bria's orphanage won't allow visits so we will be satisfied with the thought of some day in the future visiting her home town. Outside of the normal routine of appointments I don't know what else will be on the schedule. I am really hoping that there will be sites open during the holiday so we have some fun the week I am in Guangzhou.

I have to get Doug up to speed on everything adoption and the blogs I have been following of others that will be in Guangzhou at the same time as him. I would love to have met some of these people but hopefully Doug will get to. I would be good for him to have the extra support and help. I know he can do it but I'm sure it will get a little lonely. We haven't been given much direction from our agency as to what will take place and how it happens so it will be good to have others to direct questions to.

I had a close friend send this scripture to me today. It truly expresses my constant prayer.

"...and I pray that now at last in God's will the way may be opened for me to come to you." Romans 1:10

On another note, as I sit here typing, the kids came in and said there is a bee in Niya's hair. Casey took a flip flop and tried to hit it out. Niya stood still while everyone ran and screamed. She was so brave! They finally found the bee in one of her curls. That would never happen in my white girls hair. One of the fun things about having an interracial family. :)

This time it's for real. We're going to China

2011-09-17T16:08:00.001-06:00

After a very hard experience we have gotten all the appointments necessary and flights re booked and paid for. We are on our way to China!! We are headed to China on Friday the 23rd of September. It took some creativity and thinking outside the box to get it put together but we did it. Oh, and I forgot, more paperwork and money.

We both fly from Salt Lake to LA on Friday then on to Hong Kong and GuaGuangzhou. It will be a long trip but I have seen some that were longer. Once in Guangzhou Deanne will go to Changsha to pick up Bria and Doug in to Guangzhou to pick up Hyrum. We will spend the week apart doing paperwork, touring, and getting to know our children. Friday evening Deanne and Bria will fly to Guangzhou to meet up with Doug and Hyrum. We had to split up so that we could get both of the children before the Chinese holiday. We will have fun for a week with each other then have our consulate appointment the 11th of October and fly home on the 13th.

It has been a process getting to the point that I felt comfortable announcing this. I just keep waiting for something else to stop us. I did have a little scare today as I was compiling necessary paperwork. Two of the documents had been misplaced. I did very well controlling my emotions and fear. It kept trying to creep up but I very successfully pushed it back. We are waiting on getting our Power of Attorney's back from Washington DC so we can sign for each other then we will be completely set.

I had to spend some time repacking things now that we will be splitting up. Most of the extra stuff or not completely necessary things will go with Doug because he is going straight to the hotel. I have to stay within some pretty restrictive weight and size limitations for in country travel so I will be packing light. I look at some of the things I am bringing because of recommendations and wonder if I really need them. I am sure I will come home and say "If I ever do that again I won't bring all that." Mind you, this has been one of those experiences that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy so doing it again will take a visitation from an angel. I'll let you know If I see an angel. :)

If anyone knows of a place to get an IPad for cheap let me know. I won't have contact with anyone while in Changsha unless I can get online. Still trying to figure that one out.

No, We are Not in China

2011-09-10T19:54:00.001-06:00

Well it's been quite a week around our house. We got news Tuesday after booking airline tickets that the US Consulate in China did not have any appointments available for the week we needed. We tried a few other avenues to get an appointment but had no luck. We wanted to give ourselves any chance we had so finally Friday evening we cancelled our tickets. It was a difficult thing to do and cost us $560.

We are still home and won't be going until October or November. We will be contacting our agency next week to see if we can get an appointment in October but if not we do have one for the middle of November. Many questions arise now with this change and we have no answers for any of them. We will have to take some time to think everything through and make some decisions. It has been extremely difficult for several reasons but the most obvious being the disappointment of not going to get our children.

I know this experience as well as this whole adoption process gives us more compassion but right now I don't want to learn anymore of that. I just want what I want (which is not unreasonable) and not have so much opposition in my life. I know some will think that Our will is not the Lord's will or that it makes us better people or even that we will still get to go get our children. I don't want to hear any of that so I choose not to talk about it to anyone. It has been a very long difficult journey finding a getting our children. Even the children we have home are now afraid of what may happen next. There have been so many things happen that I find I am afraid of what will go wrong while in China, either with Doug and I or at home with the kids. There is no peace in this situation.

On the bright side, we have decided to be more selfish. I am taking a week to buy fabric and sew, ALL WEEK LONG! I am not doing anything for anyone but feed my kids. I am going to have Doug do some golfing, if he can get away from work after missing most of this week due to an adoption mess. For a while we are taking care of ourselves, watching moves, playing games, going shopping, eating all the chocolate we want without feeling guilty, sitting around and doing nothing, maybe even see if there are tickets left for Mary Poppins. It's time to lick our wounds and heal.

Another Miracle Needed!!

2011-09-06T11:58:00.000-06:00

I was hoping that we could wake up running this morning. Much like the rest of our process we have run into another road block. The consulate has on more appointments available for September and the earliest they can get us in is October 11. That would put us in China over a month with 10 children at home. One of those weeks would be purely sight seeing because all US and Chinese government offices are closed the first week of October. Our next option would be to stay outside of Guangzhou if we travel in October but that is not even an option for other reasons in our family. So we are only left with 2 real options. One, travel in November and miss Thanksgiving with the kids (bummer, but no deal breaker), or continue to go forward as though we go in September exercising great faith that all will work out and we leave on Saturday as paid for and planned.

Miracles happen! We have chosen to keep getting ready as though we fly out on Saturday afternoon.

The Dreaded Flu

2011-09-04T11:49:00.000-06:00

We have 7 total days to get ready to leave 10 children home and pick up two more in China. That leaves for a very busy week. Now if that was all that I had going, no problem but we have had some big issues with school and getting things together with that. I have also found that some of the needs academically are more demanding than expected. These things have been weighing heavily on me as well. The best part of it all - I got the flu on Saturday. I was down all day and when I tried to get up to get some things done I would start to lose it. I have always said that I can still function with a bad cold but give me a stomach ache I am done.

The family, mainly Doug, got a lot accomplished while I laid in bed. More and more things are being crossed off the "To Do" list, not because they are getting done but because they are not going to ever get done. This is when I decide what is really important. Who cares if my toilet is clean. Sereen can do that if she wants to wash away the germs. Right? What bad timing. After breaking my wrist I didn't think that it could be harder. Losing a whole day to the flu was not even something that crossed my mind. I think this is what we would consider the Ox being in the mire. My ox really needs to be pulled out. So I will shower and putts around the best I can while I still feel very tired and a little queasy. Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow.

I have found a couple of people that are going to China the same time as us. We leave a week earlier that them because we need the extra week to be in each child's province. We will go pick up Bria in Changsha then leave on Friday of that week for Guangzhou and pick up Hyrum on Monday. The other families will arrive in Guangzhou about a week after us. I am excited to meet some of them.

I will do my best to post while we are in China but it all depends on the access to Blogger. It seems hit and miss sometimes but I know how others rely on that to get them through the hard wait and I want my family to share in our experience. Not just my kids but everyone. This is a very unique experience and one to be treasured.

Travel on September 11th

2011-09-02T20:35:00.001-06:00

We spent most of the day putting together travel arrangements. We leave next Saturday the 11th and come back on the 29th. What a busy week this will be.

It still hasn't really set in emotionally that we are getting two more children. It has been such a long hard wait that I had to turn my heart off. I just hope it turns back on very soon. :) I'm not worried, it will probably be very tender towards my children and all the others we leave behind.

I just wanted to give an update.

Our Miracle Came

2011-09-02T10:27:00.002-06:00

WE GOT TA!!!!

No matter how weak our faith is Heavenly Father is still there. I would know because my faith failed me yesterday, completely!

I got an unexpected call from our agency this morning and they were able to get our TA. I can not say enough good about our China Coordinator and the in country director from our agency. They went far more than the extra mile. We in no way expected this. From what we knew yesterday there was no chance we would go this month. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning and face another day. I had to make some very difficult decisions, I thought. Now this miraclous surprise. How grateful I am.

I woke up singing "Glory" and wondered why I would be singing that. I was in no way on the outside praising God. I guess my spirit knew.

From the Mouths of Babes

2011-09-01T07:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday one of the children was working on their vocabulary. They had to choose an antonym from a list of 4 options. (For those that forgot, antonym means opposite.)

WEALTH

And the answer of choice:

TAXES!

No TA yet

2011-08-30T21:46:00.001-06:00

We still have not received our TA. I've been scouring the Internet looking for time lines. The word is 1-3 weeks with the average taking 3 weeks. All I am finding on others blogs is 5-10 days. How we have ended up in the slow line throughout this whole adoption I don't know but I have not given up hope. It is hard to stay faithful and know that Heavenly Father is in charge and knows what is best. Most of the time I am doing very well, that is until I talk to my sister. Thank you very much. :)

The kids ask at least every 15 minutes if we have gotten our TA. Doug said goodbye this morning and pocked his head back in to make sure I would call him as soon as we get it. I just had to chuckle, of course I would call, IMMEDIATELY. Silly man. Ressa called right after she got off work last night to see. Everyone is very anxious here to have the children home. No one wants to wait any longer.

I'll keep everyone posted. We are at day 12 for those that want to know. However, that is neither here nor there considering we are past the drop dead date the agency gave us for September travel. I am really praying that they will still be able to make things work out.

It's Been a While

2011-08-29T10:21:00.000-06:00

To all those of you following our adoption journey, I'm sorry for not keeping you updated. We did have our Article 5 delivered. Now we are waiting on the Travel Approval. Our sincere hope is that we receive it today. It is possible but with the opposition in this journey it will be by divine intervention that we receive it. If our TA does come today we are told we will travel September 9th. If it doesn't come we will have to regroup. There are some serious decision that will need to be made if we don't make it. We are not wanting to go in October because that is when we can finalize Olivia. This sweet girl deserves to know she is important enough that we would make the decision to do whatever is necessary to make her a permanent part of our family as soon as possible. To wait until November causes Hyrum and Bria to be alone for 2 more months and then puts us back home the beginning of December. I am concerned about all our children and the change they will be facing and then missing out on family traditions at the Christmas season. Traditions that keep them grounded and tied together. I have had others tell me that it's just how it goes but I want all the children to have a positive experience as we transition into our new family.

The biggest concern I have is for the welfare of Hyrum and Bria. Over the last few days there has been a theme pop up with me. The most clear message was while we were at Temple Square in Salt Lake with the children. We went on one tour about God's Plan for Families. In one part of the video presentation there were pictures of a family and words that define how we can be as a family and all the blessing that come from it. The words came "Family is how God shows his love". All I could think about were my two children that have never known a family and that love and how much they deserve it. My heart ached for their lonelinesss. They need kisses, snuggles, hugs, tickles, laughter and tears of joy dropping on their little cheeks as their mother and father marvel in the miracle of their life. I also thought of how blessed we all are to be a family and that Olivia made it to us.

Hopefully I will have a great update today. These percious children need to come home!!

Miracles Do Happen

2011-08-15T21:52:00.000-06:00

Yes miracles do happen. We have had opposition in all areas of our lives lately. They include everything from adoption to finances to school and many others. We have prayed much for help knowing that all of these things were beyond our ability to overcome. I will admit that I was beyond my natural ability to cope. All I could do was pray and turn my emotions off while I waited for the help to come.

Yesterday started with Doug and I on the phone until 10:30 trying to get the kids' registration approved for school. This was after several weeks of going back and forth on immunizations and what is required. We finally talked to the right person and got it done. It was a simple one minute conversation because this person was in Utah not Virginia and knew what was required. We got our confirmation this morning and now all the curriculum can be sent out to us.
We have also been fighting the Middle school to get Creed registered. Doug got a referral at work for the new Superintendent of the school district. After they were done doing business he let her know that the school had told us they could not sign Creed up because he had been at a charter school. We knew this was completely wrong but I didn't have it in me to fight anymore than I had for a couple of weeks and decided to wait until school started. So when Doug told me he had a contact, I hoped we would get something done. Doug got a call on Friday from the principle. He had obviously heard from the superintendent and wanted to fix things. He invited us to come in and sign Creed up. We went into the office yesterday and they were all smiles even though they were all getting ready to got to lunch. Funny how getting the right person involved can work miracles. We spent the next 40 minutes signing papers and getting a schedule for the year and out the door we went. Everyone was so happy and friendly with us. We got the email confirmation this morning that everything was complete and he will start school on the 29th.

In the evening Tyler called to tell us some good news. Those that live in our house know how at times I stress when I see Tyler's number because for a while the only time we heard from Tyler was for some crisis. I know I will get over it some day, especially with more calls like yesterday. While at work he was emailed that he was awarded a substantial scholarship for Folk Dance. This will cover his Fall tuition and all dance fees including tour fees for the summer. At this I started to get teary. I knew this was purely the work of our Father in Heaven. We don't normally pay tuition for the kids but in this situation is was necessary so Tyler could do the work of the Lord. What a blessing for all of us as Tyler has been aware to a small degree of our financial challenges and was planning on getting a student loan.

I needed this witness that I was being watched over and will never be left alone. He is there in all our trials and when all seems lost he will be there to comfort us and bear us up.

Even with a broken arm I felt this was important enough to take the time (and pain) to write. :)

Precious Moments

2011-08-15T21:12:00.001-06:00

Tonight during Family Night we played Bingo. I was sitting next to Niya helping her and she leaned into me and gave me a big hug. This happens numerous times a day and an "I love you" added with it. Tonight she said

"I'm so glad I have you."

Well sweet Niya, I'm so very glad that I have you!

International Adoption Crisis

2011-08-09T14:00:00.001-06:00

I have known for some time that there is a crisis in international adoption. We have personally been affected by it as well as millions of children. We are led to believe that the USA and UNICEF are on the side of the people but they are most definitely not on the side of the children. It would be good for everyone to read the following article. It just touches the surface of what is happening on the adoption scene world wide. Many countries have been shut down to international adoption with no domestic adoption options available. Over a 100,000,000 children have no mother and father and partially because of the works of the Department Of State and UNICEF these children will never have the love, nurture and care necessary to become contributing stable adults. The beliefs of these agencies are only perpetuating war, poverty and moral decay in this world. I highly recommend you read this article and pass it on.

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/red-thread-adoptive-family-forum/2011/aug/3/united-states-unicef-war-international-adoptions/

Challenges for the week

2011-08-06T23:37:00.001-06:00

Have you ever experienced challenges when something good is just around the corner? Opposition is a spiritual principle and it has been alive and well in our home this week. The frustration with the USCIS officer came to a head on Wednesday - we ended up about 10 days later than what the normal turnaround time is for that approval. Our senator's staffer was completely ineffective. Our 401k took about a $2,000 hit in the last 10 days with all the economic turmoil on Wall Street. This ate into the money we were going to liquidate to pay for two college tuition fees next month and the rest of the adoption. I made a transition in my office a couple of months ago and that has disrupted our income at the moment, so the 401k money turned into being our safety net for the adoption. One of our dishwashers broke down - they are Bosch, so probably not cheap to fix. At least we are fortunate enough to have another dishwasher. We will just have to do some dishes by hand after dinner for a while. FYI - dinner dishes for a family like ours does not fit into one dishwasher. After Deanne and I made a trip to the store Wednesday night we stayed in the car in the driveway discussing the challenges and hurdles throughout this adoption process. Wondering if this was opposition from Satan or a sign from the Lord that this is not the right thing to be doing. We determined it must be Satan and we were going to stick it out. Then walking to the front door Deanne tripped on the front steps and broker her wrist. (That's why she assigned me to write the last two posts) Because of the transition to a new company, we are between insurance plans, so this is an out of pocket cost. It looks like it will be less than $300, so we feel lucky about that. But the idea of going to China in a cast isn't all that pleasant which is what will happen if we travel in September like we are hoping. In addition to that, there is all the preparation needed to go that will be more difficult for her now. She will even have to devise new methods for styling her hair and putting on makeup.

All in all, it has been a pretty draining week - emotionally and financially. Not good going into the final lap of an international adoption.

GUZ Letter

2011-08-06T23:10:00.000-06:00

One more step closer. It was a painful step, but at least its done. We determined that our senatror's office really didn't have any effect on the speed of approval of our GUZ letter from the visa center. He didn't really accomplish anything to expedite the I800 approval getting sent to the visa center either. We were completely lied to by our officer at USCIS, then she sent the email to the visa center to the wrong email address. When I called her for the tracking number for the 2nd day package sent to the visa center she said they never give those out. Magically in about 2 minutes she had it. We ended up talking to her supervisor - she was apologetic and asked what she could do, but by that time the package had already arrived in the visa center and there was nothing more we needed from that office. We just submitted a formal complaint to try to save the next family some delays and misinformation.

The visa center was great and had our GUZ letter out in 24 hours. They gave us the letter in the pdf file and we forwarded that to the agency. It may have arrived in time to the courier in China to put it with the DS230 and submitted to the consulate Friday, but most likely it will go in on Tuesday. The consulate only accepts the D230 packets Tuesday through Friday. Our senator's staffer is still talking like he as some pull in this process, but based on what we've seen so far, we don't have much hope the he will speed up the Article 5 at the consulate. I guess we'll see.

I800 Approval!!

2011-07-31T00:34:00.001-06:00

We finally have it! After much difficulty and major stress we finally got our I800 approval. We had to threaten to get our Senator involved to get things done. I could go into all the details but suffice it to say we had the stereo typical government experience. Funny thing, we did end up getting our senator's office involved. They have been fantastic! If all goes well we may have our Article 5 by the end of next week.

For those that don't know the process we have to submit for approval for the children to come to the US. That is the I800 process. Once that is issued the approval is sent to the National Visa Center or NVC. They typically take a week or so to cable or email the consulate in China a letter that gives them the go ahead to process our case. Our agency submits another form to the consulate with a copy of the same letter from the NVC. Exactly 2 weeks later the Article 5 is picked up from the consulate and mailed to the Chinese government for travel approval or TA. TA's are taking anywhere from 2-6 weeks to get. We then can book flights and leave for China no less than 2 weeks from receipt of our TA.

Now, in getting our senator's office involved we may have sped this process up by quite a bit. Our liaison at the senator's office is being so good and may help us to make up for a little time that has been lost over the last 10 months of struggle. This is all in hopes that we can travel in September. If the TA doesn't come in time then we will have to go in October or November. October is not an option because the Chinese government as well as the consulate are closed the first week of October then the last 3 weeks is the international trade show. The trade show pushes all the travel prices up so the cost would be too much. The biggest reason we can't go in October is for Olivia. We will be eligible to have her adoption finalized mid October and I can not send a message to her that these children are more important than she is. She deserves far better than that. I want her to know that she is loved beyond anything she has ever experienced before and we will make whatever sacrafice is needed to show her that. To put travel off until November would be a very BIG sacrifice.

I have a favor to ask everyone. Please put us in your prayers. We are expecting a miracle and need all the power we can get. We feel that September is when we are to go to China. But many things still need to happen and so many obstacles could be put in our way. We are hopeful and exercising faith and works to get this done. When this happens there will be no denying that the Lord is in charge and he is God. What a testimony this will be to any who know international adoption, including someone at our agency that has not been real positive the last couple of days. Everyone will see that there is a greater force out there that goes beyond mortals. I am excited to see this miracle come about and to be trusted with such a great testimony of the love of our Father in Heaven.

Gardening and Geysers

2011-07-31T00:29:00.000-06:00

In the 25 years that we have been married (Wow, I feel pretty old right now) we have tried all but 2 or 3 years to grow a garden. One of those years we did pretty well. I give all the credit to the homeowners that had prepared the soil over the years and we just hung onto their coat tails. Now the rest of our gardens have been pretty dismal. This year we decided to really go for it. We moved our garden plot and spent hours bringing in horse manure adding nitrogen and tilling it all in. This was all during a very wet cold spring. We got the whole family out and created furrows, planted and made an irrigation system. All the while the whole world around us was out watching soccer games, playing, shopping and seemingly having fun. We just kept telling ourselves that it would all be worth it.

We are now many more hours and a couple of months later. I had lost all motivation and hope that we would get anything out of our garden. I have been so discouraged. We did have potatoes and sunflowers come up pretty well. The rest of the garden however, is terrible. I bought fertilizer two weeks ago and never put it on because I was feeling like "what's the use". I sent all the kids out this morning and we weeded and buried the potatoes again. In the weeds that seem to love this ground we found a few plants that are still holding on. There isn't a lot of time left in the season to get much but I did gain a little hope today and plan to fertilize tomorrow.

I hope that the 60 Raspberry plants, 7 grape vines and 11 fruit trees that we planted this year all survive and grow. Our soil really can't be called soil. It is pure clay with no nutrients. Somehow the early Pioneers were able to get this dessert to blossom like a rose but they somehow forgot my little section of that dessert.

We did have a a fun respite from planting at the time. Doug had just hooked up the piping for the irrigation system and was testing it. All looked good and he turned it off. As soon as the nozzle closed the pressure in the system blew the main valve and water spewed in the air over 40 feet. This is the second time that has happened so we just laughed, made a phone call to the city and had fun. The kids started running through it and putting their heads in the geyser. The greatest fun was pulling the weeds and throwing them in the water to watch them go up in the air, break apart and fall. It was a very fun!

I800 Still up in the Air

2011-07-21T14:58:00.001-06:00

We still have not heard anything after the initial contact with our officer at USCIS. She was going to call us as soon as our package was in her hand or we were to call her if our original package came back. The copy package was delivered last Monday, 11 days ago and she still has not called. Our check for the second child has been processed and we left a message for the officer yesterday morning, still nothing. We have no idea if we will be OK or not. I would really like to know something about now.

We also were informed yesterday that another paper has to go with our LOA back to China and the agency does not have a signed copy for some reason. We were just told about this last night and now have to sign one and send it to them. But according to them we aren't to worry about overnighting it because our LOA won't go back to China for a week or so. . The last time they used the words "or so" it was 12 days later. They received our LOA's back on Saturday, what is going on? I just can't believe how all of our adoption stuff is going. It has been one thing after another. I just need to expect more delays where there should be none. The rest of this process should be fairly timely and smooth but I am not holding my breath. I just might die.

It is not my imagination. Our best laid plans are falling apart before our very eyes. If it wasn't for the fact that I put all the official paperwork in Doug's name I would just go to China myself. At least the kids would be taken care of at home and we would save a lot of money in travel. Doug could even work if I hadn't done this. I suggested he go by himself and he said no way! Now I have to rethink everything again.

A word of advice for anyone starting the adoption process, put all paperwork in the woman's name. It is much safer that way.

I'm obviously not feeling very positive. Sorry about that.

Warnings!!

2011-07-14T20:36:00.000-06:00

This is posted by Doug, Deanne's guest blogger who does not make nearly enough posts.....

The mortgage industry is riddled with compliance requirements since the financial mess started a few years ago. This mindset is probably why I came up with the much needed compliance idea that follows.

Here's the background - yesterday we had some friends (who also had some adopted children) over to visit and while the children were all playing together, Deanne and Jen, the other mom, engaged in the same conversation all adoptive mom's around the world engage in when they are within the same zip code - adoption. One thing lead to another and they ended up online looking at available, and very cute, Chinese children. (See actual sample to the left of this post.) I happened to walk by the computer at that moment and that's when my compliance idea struck. Orphan websites need to have the following warning. " Warning - this website contains images that may cause financial hardship, emotional distress, and marital discord (if one spouse catches the adoption bug and the other one does not.) This would protect the unsuspecting and innocent, tender hearted people who unwittingly (or at the hands of another perpetrator) are exposed to this overwhelming influence that can change their life forever.

In all fairness, there should also be a warning to protect against the other effects of adoption websites. "Warning - this website may cause your heart to melt, increase your capacities as a parent, and bring more love into your home than you thought possible."

Either way, if the government decides these warnings should added and you choose to ignore them and participate in the dangerous and addictive practice of viewing adoption websites anyway, you will have no one to blame (or thank) but yourself.

LOA!!!

2011-07-10T22:56:00.001-06:00

Woo Hoo!!!! We finally got our Letter of Acceptance. This is the official approval from the country offering us the opportunity to adopt our two precious children. We now have a little better idea of when we will travel. I already expected we would go in September or October so we still wait to find out. If some miracles happen we could possibly go in September but it is more probable we go in October. I am however, a big believer in the power of God. I know he can do anything he wants so if he desires we go in September it could happen. I just hope that for once in my life His will and timing match mine. What would the chances be of that?

On Thursday night Ressa said that I need to stop sitting at the computer and get out and do something. She offered to even take me shopping. I felt pretty silly that I was so bound up by the desire to receive this approval that even my kids noticed. Who am I trying to fool, anyone could have seen it. Friday I tried not to look at the email. I had to look a few times in the morning because I assumed the notice would come first thing since China is asleep when we are awake. Nothing came so I laid off the computer and tried to keep myself busy. I did things with the kids, weeded, made Marshall fold the clothes :), and made treats for the neighbors. At almost 4:00pm I checked again and there it was! I got so excited that I called Doug and told him I was on my way to print it out and sign so I could send my I800 to the USCIS overnight that day. I was so caught up that we signed the papers wrong and now I have to call the USCIS officer in the morning and ask her where to send another set of copies that were done right. I really hope that in all my excitement I didn't completely mess things up. We even stopped and said a prayer with all the children and Doug before I sealed the envelope asking to be inspired if we had done something wrong in the paperwork. No stupor of thought or inspiration so we were good to go. There must be a good reason for this to have happened. I will choose to just trust in God. This is all in His timing anyway, right?

I have had someone ask me to post our timeline on the blog. I love looking at others time lines because it gives me a better idea of what we are looking at in our experience. I will look all our dates up and get them on the sidebar this week. I should be able to get that done now that I am not sitting in front of the computer all day and night waiting for an email.